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It's twenty twelve?!

2012-01-19T21:43:00.004-07:00

Hi.

I haven't been on this thing since my mom's birthday in 2010. Whoa.

So here's what's what.

I lived in Portland from May 2010-February 2011.

Then I moved to Utah from February 2011-Halloween 2012.

Andy moved to SF on June 1st, which sucked and we lived apart until...

We got married on October 1st--which was awesome. I'm going to post pictures cause it was a homemade shin-dig. And by homemade I mean home-freaking-made. :)

We then moved to the dainty little city of Pacifica, CA. We arrived on Halloween, and love it thus far.

I'm a little behind, and the blogger bug just bit me in the ass.

I'll be back to update.

Soon.

Photoesque

2010-06-16T15:22:00.004-06:00

The photos you missed from my birthday that were necessary to share:

(These are some of the hourly photos Ash got as the day went on)

Squeeky cheese is a part of the Dansie tradition. My dad used to bring it home from us when he would go to the cheese factory in Logan. This was my way of sharing my birthday with Ash.

Mmmmhmmm. Delicious.

The lesson you taught me about wearing my rain jacket. Rememeber? To say I'm not soaked would be a complete understatement.

June 9th...still the best day of the year?

2010-06-13T23:52:00.000-06:00

June 9th began with a phone call from my sister at 7:24am (which I consequently ignored...who wants to wake up that early on their birthday anyway?), and another call at 9:45 from my mother...which I answered (it was time to get out of bed by THEN). Both of them wished me Happy Birthday...Ashley sang to me operatic style. I hopped in the shower only to have missed Grace and Kady's phone call and now have a voice mail of them singing to me. It was a songful morning.

Andy and I got out of here at about noon, and headed to the ORIGINAL Original Pancake House for Brunch...which was more like lunch considering the hour. It was delicious. We then headed to Tillamook Cheese Factory. It was pouring rain all the way there, and the drivers on that road are absolutely unforgiving. At one point in time I had a semi truck riding my butt...and I was already speeding (like five over is all). Besides the drivers, the actual drive to Tillamook is so much prettier than the drive to Seaside/Astoria/Cannon Beach. It's much more mossy and green, whereas the other is more foresty.

Anyway, we arrived at the cheese factory and watched people package cheese (we have zero photos of the actual process). I don't know how I would feel about going to work everyday to have someone stare at me while I worked, but more power to the people okay with it. I think working on an assembly line like that would drive me a little more than crazy. I thrive too much on change, not quality control.

I just realized we forgot to take a photo of me as a cow, or farmer. Fail. I guess when Kaleb comes out we'll have to revisit and take it then.

After the factory (and samples...plus purchases), we headed to Oceanside beach. It is by far the favorite of the three we've been to. It might have been because it was freezing, but it was beautiful (Andy took the photos. I just stole them.)

This is why it is the coolest. There is a walkway built through the mountain to the other side of the beach. Granted I wanted to die walking through it because I was CREEPED out, but after having Andy shoot the flash on his camera a few times, I got over my fear of the dark and forged forward to this...

To some of you this photo may not be so strange. April barefoot on the beach, digging through the sand, What?! Yeah right. To those of you who may be confused...going to the beach has always been my favorite not because of the swimming factor, and not only because of how small I feel by the vastness of the ocean...but because of the stuff that lives in the water and/or sand (which translates as SAND CRABS!!). I don't know if they live in Oregon, but there are weird gross looking larvae things that live in the sand like the crabs do (which is what I am inspecting here). I hope they aren't something disgusting.

Looking at me in these pictures I'm sure some of you are thinking, "You crazy girl! Where is your jacket?!" Well, if you must know, I left it in the car because I didn't want to carry it. Besides that, I was retarded and forgot an actual jacket and only had my hot pink rain jacket. "April, it rains in Oregon, especially on the coast...a rain jacket is what you needed." Yeah, but think about that hot pink jacket with my outfit, and besides that it was humid...

The imaginary conversation I'm having with you ends with you telling me I should have worn it lest I turn up sopping-ass-wet. My lesson was learned (I have a photo of the lesson, me sopping-ass-wet, but it's on Andy's phone and he is not here). We ended up getting thoroughly drizzled on, insomuch that driving home all I wore was my (dry) rain coat, and leggings.

After going home and changing, Andy took me to dinner for sushi. It was delicious. Then I made him buy me ice cream and candles and sing to me...because what kind of birthday is it without dessert?!

Andy was a doll all day long on my birthday (and is every day). I love being on this adventure with him even though he hasn't found a job, and things are different. I love knowing I have him to come home to. He makes being away from home that much easier. I love him with all my heart, and am just so thankful for the person he is to me.

Thank you for your birthday wishes. So many people poured out, and it made it okay that I'm up here instead of in Utah. I love every one of you so much.

Oh Anthropologie

2010-06-13T23:13:00.002-06:00

I am not above begging for this gem:

Anthropologie has my heart

If only I could afford to spend $80 on a dress. Instead, my phone is going kaput and I'm saving for a new iphone. If I had never moved, I would have the dollars to purchase it...alas, this is not true life.

Working on Birthday post as we speak...as I'm cleaning my house.

I am a terrible housewife.

2010-06-08T13:34:00.002-06:00

Living in Portland Oregon is teaching me things I don't think I ever would have learned without leaving the loving land of SLC, UT. It's a little early to get nostalgic about living here, already searching for lessons, but let me tell you what I have come to realize already.

I miss my family. I knew missing them was imminent as I cried when I left all of them, but not being able to drive the twenty minutes from Salt Lake is killing me. Yesterday when I called my mom she told me Grandpa T. was in the hospital dealing with neck pains from his osteoporosis. There have been numerous occasions when I have received these calls. General reaction: bolt down the the hospital to support whomever is there, mostly my mom. Of all the calls I have received of this sort, there has only been one time I was unable to drop what I was doing to get to the hospital. Yesterday put another tally on the chart. It hurts to not be able to be there for my Grandpa and my mom like you wouldn't believe. Hugs are a necessary part of my coping process, and not being able to comfort from so far away makes my heart hurt.
Moving up here was the right thing to do when speaking of my job. I have already been given the tools to succeed further and love the store I work at (although it's in the "hood"). My boss is awesome, as are all the people I get to work with. I know the universe delivered me to something good.
Having zero friends doesn't suck as much as I ever thought it could. I have read a book and a half, and am blogging again! It feels good to have time to take care of me.
I miss my nieces like you wouldn't believe.

In other news, I need to start thinking about what my resolutions for my year are going to be. I will recap the old post. I only failed at like one and a half things! Yay for making realistic goals!

Birthday is tomorrow. I'm beginning to dread it, which is weird because birthdays are the best holiday of the year! It just makes me sad to be so far away from home with zero hugs from friends and family. Andy and I are going to the Tillamook cheese factory and then to the beach (this feels redundant I may have already told you?). We'll take pictures, and I'll post them tomorrow night!

I love you and miss you all!

A Growing Something...

2010-06-07T22:22:00.006-06:00

Last night after a meeting at work, I was out in the parking garage carrying on a conversation with a coworker while she finished her cigarette. As we were talking I looked at my car and realized something peculiar.

Meet Artie. He is what carried my toosh up here to the grand state of Oregon. Now, this peculiarity is not something seen just by glancing...instead take a closer look...

There are MINI TREES growing out the back of the car where the trunk meets the car. At our old place in Utah there were trees (I think they were cotton) that grew right next to where I parked. I guess a few seedlings decided to make a home in the crevice and await the rain. They got what they wanted what with living in Portland and all, and started growing!!! Something I brought with me and didn't even realize.

I went on a nature walk (AKA a walk around the block) after taking the photos of the car, and this is what I found. They don't just call this "The City of Roses" without cause you know, they are all over the place.

Someone wanna tell me what kind of flower this is? I'm assuming they are some kind of rose, but they grow all weird. Maybe the people down the street just need to learn what pruning shears look like though. That bush is out of control.

I don't know why I love the leaves on this one so much. The flower is all wilty and hasn't even blossomed yet. The lens I was using (Andy's awesome one...and, oh yeah, his camera too) was too as I like to say, "zoomied out" to let me look at this photo as I took it. I trusted the auto zoom and the angle of my arm (you'd think I'd be good at this with the copious amounts of self portraits I take) to take the photo. The result: focused leaves, and a blurry wilty bloomy flower.

These remind me of these little purple flower things that used to grow on the ditch bank at home when I was a kid. We would pick them and use them as spices as we played with water in the sand. I do believe we made them be medicine when we played house...and I'm sure at some point in time they were either eaten or shoved in someones mouth. These are more bulbous that the grapey ones at home, but they remind me of being a kid looking at them.

Red things...who knows what they are. But they are pretty nevertheless. Maybe when I have my own house I will have spectacular flowers of all sorts to look at. Until then, I shall enjoy the glory of renting and not having to maintain a yard by staring at other people's unkempt roses.

Only 1 more day until the big 2-5!

Birthday

2010-06-06T23:07:00.004-06:00

I just got on my e-mail to find these photos from Ash. They celebrated our birthdays today, and totally included me. I'm like one of those missionary cut-outs now.

Kady got the candles...but it's kinda like I did cause she was holding me...right? :)

Happy Birthday Ash! Happy Birthday mom! Love you both. I'll be sure to eat extra special reserve Tillamook cheese just for you as I celebrate on Wednesday. :)

New Home

2010-06-05T18:35:00.015-06:00

It has been a long time since I updated my blog, but you can expect to be hearing from me more. Why you ask?

Relocation, relo-kay-ae-ae-ae-tion is making me late, keepin' me waitin'. (to be sung to the tune of Anticipation by Carly Simon)

Andy and I recently relocated ourselves into the beautiful land of Portland, Oregon. In doing so, I have zero friends--which equals--more me time! Don't get me wrong, I miss having people to be with, but it sure has been nice to only be obligated to the things I need to do. Perhaps I will finish my drapes, set up my Etsy site for real, and do...stuff&things.

I know some of you want to see what the inside of my house looks like, but lets be honest...it's not all unpacked and put away. If I'm going to show you my house, I want it to be clean. To make up for my false promises I instead give you photos of the outside...and I want to introduce you to someone awesome.

So this is where we live. In an actual apartment complex. It hasn't been as bad as I though it might be. There are a of couple people who stay up late, and since we're on the corner near the stairwell noises echo, but it's not bad. Overall, Portland is teaching me to be a deeper sleeper. Here's hoping it doesn't make me sleep through my alarm clock.

The main reason we chose to live in this apartment complex is because of this lovely store located right across the street. Hello two-buck-Chuck (which is really three dollars in Portland), cheap produce, and cheap CHEESE!! I'll have you know though, the meat is not cheap. For things we can't get for awesome prices at TJ's we go to Fred Meyer! Remember how they closed them all in Utah? Instead of Smith's marketplace, they are just Fred Meyer's. Thanks Kroger!

This is our house. That little thing in the window? That's who I want to introduce you to. Her name is Millie, aka Millie Goose. About three weeks before we left for Portland I went and hung out at Ash and JJ's house. When I pulled out of their street to go home I saw a sign that said, "FREE KITTENS." For those of you who do not know, I have wanted to have a kitty since before I started dating Andy about two years ago. It was the PERFECT opportunity. I pulled over, called Andy and convinced him into letting me at least go look. It turned out, there was only one little one left, and I fell in LOVE. Now, a montage so you will too.

She is sooo pretty, and she loves me (more than she loves Andy I must say). She jumps in my lap when I come home and snuggles up on my face. Her motor is constantly on when you hold her, and if you pet her while she's sleeping, she'll start up her motor again. She is the most snuggley kitty in the world.

Her feet are all black, except that one. Her fur used to be all white, but has started getting orange spots on it. I sense a touch of Calico.

Her belly is spotted like a cheetah, and her legs are tiger/zebra striped. She has the weirdest markings, but she's sooo beautiful. I just want to put her in my pocket and carry her everywhere I go. She has learned to not hate the car because of this. :)

Are you in love yet?

And one last one for the taking.

Professor Scratch (Andy's cat) and Millie don't get along very well. They are much better than they used to be, but if you get Millie too close to Scratch against her will, you can expect hellfire.

My birthday is next Wednesday, and I must say that I am sad I'm not spending it with my friends in Utah like I originally planned. Instead, Andy and I are going to drive out to Tillamook Cheese Factory, and then to the beach. Hopefully it will be sunny, and even if it's not, the rain will be nice. I'll just be sure to pack my un-wella (I miss my little Kady-bug and Gracie girl).

I plan on taking more photos, and updating. Look forward to mine and Ashley's blog about cooking. We are planning something awesome.

I'm sending my love via the inter-waves. Love you all...

New Years Resolution Configured

2009-10-29T16:10:00.001-06:00

Figured out what I want to do with school.

Psychology.

Thanks to the Bunk for pointing out how much I would probably love it. :)

Now, to implement a plan.

I can't believe it's taken this long to figure it out, but I'm on my way.

New Years Resolutions.

2009-07-14T22:32:00.007-06:00

As many of you may NOT know, my new philosophy since last year:
Unlike the general population, I have decided to make New Year's resolutions on my Birthday. Since that was over a month ago, it's time to make my goals...

So for my 24th year of life I will...

Teach myself to fishtail braid. Hello, pain in my ass! BUT! I can french braid my hair again...which is AWESOME that it's that long. Who cares if I look like a prairie lady.

Be financially responsible, which I don't freaking understand why money is so hard for me to handle. However...I've been saving $50 a month and haven't touched it. Small accomplishments are making it possible for me to feel good about going to...SEATTLE in September with my Andy.

Write in a planner. I was so goooood last year, but this year I've turned into a slacker. So, I bought new ones, and I'm starting over.

Jump back on the wagon to losing weight. I was totally derailed about a month ago, due to some stressful/traumatic stuff that happened at work. I finally identified why I've been so crappy with it, but now it's all about jumping back on.

Read more. For some reason I have had a really hard time getting caught up in books lately. It might be because of all the change, but I need to get back into that. It totally helps my brain.

Drink more water.

Decide what I'm going to do with school. Then implement a plan to complete it.

So far, that's all I can think of. I may add more later.

Happy New Year/Happy Birthday to me!

I suck at being a domestic queen.

2009-07-02T18:04:00.005-06:00

Yesterday:

"Andy, your shirt smells funny."

Three minutes later,

"It smells like Bonne Belle chap stick."

Him: "What'd you do, wash the clothes with some?"

Today:

I go downstairs to take the clothes out of the dryer and find my little tub of strawberry lip balm from NY...empty.

Discovery #1: I figured out what was making that annoying noise as the clothes were drying.

Discovery #2: The clothes smell like chap stick why? Because I'm retarded and don't know how to empty my pants pockets out.

Just one example of my inability of becoming a domestic queen. The clothes are in the washer...again, as we speak.

I guess I'll just remain Queen Lirpa forever. :)

Time flies...

2009-06-30T19:09:00.002-06:00

Things that are currently going on in my life.

1. Summer. And I HATE it. As if you all didn't know this one already, what with the sun beating down on all of our backs.

2. Dansie Family Reunion was last weekend, and it was the most fun ever. Andy came with me, and we both got KILLED on the innertube. The usual things occurred, BINGO, crafts, swimming. Something new this year: rain! All day Saturday, but it was still fun...only because Cher had a bunch of fake tattoos and I had 19 of them in like 2 hours. There's something fantastic about fake tattoos! They don't hurt, and they take no time at all to put on...or take off!

3. I moved in with Andy in April I think. I love this boy so much. I however, do NOT love his cat so much. She's adorable...but there's something about her chewing magazines when she's hungry that totally turns me off.

4. Working full time at Gap with benefits and all. I love it, even though right now it is soooo hectic, but in time it too will pass.

5. I suck at doing laundry and fear Andy is going to hate me one of these days because of it. I'll finish it...eventually.

6. I've lost 12 pounds!

I can't think of anything too exciting to share.

I'm still around. Still hate summer. :)

25 Things About Me...

2009-01-26T17:40:00.008-07:00

Today I hopped on Facebook only to be tagged to fill out this "survey" about myself. Only, it's not really a survey. It's more like an excuse to talk about myself and tell you random useless information about me. So...here goes.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I am a nerd. I didn't realize this until like three months ago, but it's true. A nerd that wears cool clothes. Ha.

2. I love, love, love music.

3. I wear gold jewelry.

4. I have weird irrational fears that most of the time elicits strange looks from people when they see me react to them. These strange fears being:
--Sewer grates-open or closed ones, they freak me out.
--Elevator cracks, I don't step on them. I hate knowing the emptiness beneath me, which also ties into the sewer grate thing.
--I hate, hate, hate dark water. It freaks me out.
--Public speaking scares the bajesus out of me. This also includes playing music in front of anyone. I get nervous and start to shake...or laugh. Wanna see something comic? Ask about my recital videos.
--I hate looking into mirrors at night, although this is one that doesn't bug me nearly as much as it used to.

5. I talk in my sleep. I've re-named the Wii, talked to Nicole about Myspace, and also yelled at her. Sometimes I even walk in my sleep. It's weird to have someone respond to me, that's for sure.

6. My life has changed so much in the past year. I lost a best friend, lost someone who was equally important, and someone I thought should have been in my life forever. In losing these people I found someone who makes my heart so happy, it's hard to believe I ever lived without him.

7. I believe writing in my journal jinxes me. I haven't written in it since September, and my life is just running smoothly. :) I also never completely finish writing in my journals. I seriously have around five journals, and the last 3-20 pages aren't written on.

8. I am a good person.

9. I believe in living life being genuinely thankful for everything everyone does for you. There is nothing more rewarding than people realizing you appreciate them and everything they do. I believe in making people feel wanted, even when you have something negative to tell them.

10. I have a tendency to hold my anger in until I freak out at someone. Very rarely will you see me be incredibly mean, and more than likely this will be the case.

11. I want to go to Florence Italy to see the Medici Gardens, and anything that entails Michelangelo. I love him.

12. Whiskey is my most favorite alcohol out there. ha. :)

13. Pregnancy freaks me out. The idea that you can make a baby and it can live in your uterus just fine and dandy until it pops out, all in the meantime wiggling around and taking over your body seems so alien. Miraculous, but so freaking strange. So not ready for that step in my life.

14. I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to write, but lately I feel like I suck. So, maybe I want to teach 3rd grade again. I don't know. The quest for knowledge is frustrating.

15. I don't believe in regret. I believe in living life in a way that you should be proud of the person you are, and the person you're becoming. If you don't like it, learn a lesson and move on. Become better. Don't let the past hinder you from becoming the most extraordinary person ever.

16. I love cold weather. Although, right now I'm sitting on my couch freeeeeeeezing because my windows are so thin...but I'm comfortable and not moving. I love snuggling, fires, snow, reading, gloves, scarves, coats, and jackets/hoodies. Of course I love the cold. It entails all my favorite things.

17. I love to crochet! I love knowing I can create something out of a ball of yarn. I think it's pretty schnazzy. I'm going to start selling things on etsy.com eventually.

18. I am honest. I don't believe in lying unless you're fake sick and need a day off from work...and only like once a year. Although, I'll have you know, I've never fake called in sick to the Gap...and I've only had two sick days there. I'd have to say I'm a pretty good employee too. :)

19. I have never belonged to one group of friends. I've always floated around and been friends with everyone. I've attempted to belong to two groups of people in my life and either lost interest or something occurred to drive us apart.

20. I love words.

21. I love my family. My mom keeps telling me that my family members are the ones who will always be there for me, and I believe this wholeheartedly. I don't know if she thinks I do, because I always search for that "best friend." The ties that bind me to my family are tighter than a friend will ever be, and I know that...sometimes it's just nice to have someone out there who is just a reeeeeaaaaallllly good friend. And on that note, I am so thankful for everyone in my life who continually supports me and understands me. You know who you are, and I love you all. There is nothing like feeling supported and safe.

22. Christmas is my least favorite holiday. I love Birthdays and Thanksgiving. Birthdays are your own, and Thanksgiving focuses on everyone you love. :)

23. I love to read. I haven't been doing much of it lately, but reading is something I enjoy.

24. I hate milk, unless it has chocolate and ice in it, and only rarely at that. I've never liked it, and never intend to. It's gross.

25. I don't wear socks to bed, and I hate sleeping naked. I'll either wake up in the middle of the night and take my socks off, or get dressed. Thus, I go to bed with cold feet.

So, there's some useless information about me. Enjoy...and feel free to fill it out yourself. No tagging here, this isn't LJ for crying out loud.

An early morning update

2009-01-16T00:37:00.005-07:00

Yo! :)

It's been forever since I've written anything on here and as I'm waiting for my laundry to wash/dry I figured I'd take the time to write a little something.

Something, something, something, something, something.

Ha. I am so funny. A little tired.

So, I still don't have internet at my house. I'm currently at Andy's house stealing his internets as he's up in Park City being cool at Sundance partying with all those celebs. I'm at his house doing our laundry. Talk about a fun filled night! The comparison is pitiful. However, someone's gotta clean the clothes, I'm just the lucky one who gets to do it.

So, the holidays were lovely. I hated working retail more than anything....but it's great knowing I don't have to deal with that for another year. I've officially decided Christmas is my least favorite holiday. I love being around my family...but Birthdays are so much better. So is Thanksgiving. Everyday should be Thanksgiving, and everyone should be as loving as they are on that day...everyday. Such a good holiday.

Speaking of thanks, introducing the newest change in my life: I am making sure everyone I meet knows I'm thankful for whatever task they perform for me. I don't think people feel appreciated enough. I think this is something I've learned as I've been managing more at the Gap, and I'm truly thankful for the experience. I'm a good leader. You all wish you worked for me...really.

In news of life, things are turbulent but amazing at the same time. I am in love with Andy. He makes me happy in a way I have never experienced before. I miss him when I'm away from him, and I relish the time spent with him. I sound like a blubbering girl, but I can't help it. He makes me feel like a million bucks. He likes my family too, which makes me even happier. It feels so good to know my feelings are reciprocated, that I'm not truly crazy. He loves me. :)

Oi! Erik and Cher got a new puppy, and he's adorable. I want him for my own. I wish I had pictures on my memory stick so I could post them...something I'll get on for the next post. I love that family. Those little girls are so adorable. I miss not seeing them every week like I used to when I lived at home. Ah, the pros and cons of living away from the parents.

I have started a new project, crocheting. Well, it's not so new...but I'm learning new things, and there are great things yet to come! No standard blankets, but cool things like broaches, purses, and bikinis? Ha, I kid...about the bikini anyway...although believe it or not I DO have a pattern. Just you wait. There WILL BE photos. I promise.

Hmmmmmmmmmm....what else is there to tell.

Ah, I've been hanging out with my mother a lot lately. I don't know why, but being home has just felt so good the past couple weeks. She's been teaching me through my frustrations not to give up on yarn. I love her so much. Honestly? She's my best friend, AND mother. How lucky am I? I am so thankful she has never given up on me. I'm also thankful that I can call her bawling, and she'll help me get over all my crap. She's amazing. Any of you would be lucky to have her in your life.

In other news, everyone and their mom are getting married in the next year. Well, really just seven people that I know, but krikey. That is so many freaking people. "Marriage, it's a hell of an institution to join."

There have been nutty people coming in to the Gap lately. Just a side note. Crazies I tell you.

The washer just stopped, time to change the load. Sigh. It's so late and I still have three more loads to go. Good thing it's no big deal if I stay up late. No work in the morning! G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S!

Whoa, Friday?

2008-10-24T00:15:00.005-06:00

That's right kids. A random internet connection has been found in my living room! Thank you Nicole! Internets, internets, internets. Here's hoping there isn't suddenly a password put on it. I think it would break me little heart. :)

I've been listening to Brandi Carlile A LOT lately. Thanks to Andy, I have the whole album. I think he might like me. ;) But! This album is pretty fantastic. I had no idea who she was until one day when I was at my parent's house (remember I don't have a TV) and this commercial came on:

My dad mentioned he liked the song so I went and googled it. I found the music video and ever since, every time I get online I listen to this song over and over again. I finally got the album from Andy and my heart has been pleased ever since. I really like the song "Turpentine" as well. Then again I love the whole thing. Go download it.

Work went fabulous today. I'm surprised I haven't passed out in my bed yet. It was a looooooooong day, but I don't know that I've ever felt as productive as I have this week. We ran the new Men's merchandise on Tuesday, and may I just say how much easier it is to place new clothes when you know what it is and where it should go? It felt so good to put my plans into action. I seriously love my job.

The Gap is launching this campaign called "Vote for ______." We're selling these white T shirts that say just that "Vote for______." in black writing. You're supposed to fill in the blank with something you believe in. I still haven't figured out how to decorate mine, even though I was supposed to wear it this morning. I want to put, "Vote for keeping your own power." or something along those lines. I think it might be one of the greatest lessons to learn. To live for you and to claim your actions as your own with no apologies. Granted it's not an easy one to learn, but one can always use a reminder. I don't know how to make it all cutesy cutesy though. I'll figure it out... then I'll photograph it to show you! Go to this link----> "Vote for____."

I just got sucked into the vortex that is Gap Commercials on Youtube. Ha. You know, I've come to the conclusion I don't really like Sarah Jessica Parker that much. I like Carrie Bradshaw sure, but SJP herself? Not really.

Anyway. Check out the whole "Vote for____." thing. It's pretty neat.

We put up the new windows (for this campaign) today, and may I just toot my own horn and tell you how fantastic it all went? Everything was up and finished in the alloted time, and they look PERFECT. I did the kids posters and decals by myself in like 45 minutes. I finally feel like I GET it. I left feeling like I accomplished everything on my list this week and wasn't completely overwhelmed by feelings of failure. I am learning! :)

In other news, I played Spore at my sisters house. It's a fuuuuuunnnn game. Granted I haven't gotten over making my creature look either perverted or freaking awesome...but hey, I think it's amazing. :) Andy also gave me this dorky game to play, "Natalie Brooks, Secrets of Treasure house," and I played the whole thing through. At first I was like, YESSSS! A game like "Diner Dash!" I was totally enthused by collecting all the clues and figuring out this puzzle... when suddenly BAM! It was totally over. Shizam! You're a princess! Shizam! The police chief sucks! I collected pieces to a postcard picture and it never explained why or even what it was. Thus, the ending was inconclusive and abrupt... and dumb. I totally played through it twice to see if I missed something... but I didn't. I just sucked. Ha.

Oh! Speaking of games, I played "The World of Goo" at Andy's the other night. The objective: To collect as many balls of "goo" as possible. How you do this: There are these little balls you connect to each other and you build upward, the point being to not allow it to topple. You build until you reach this suction drain thing and it sucks up the extra balls of goo. My summary is kinda sucky, but this game is seriously sooo fun! That Andy is introducing me to such fantastic things, I adore him.

Anyway. It's getting mad late. 1:40. I don't work tomorrow, thank the lord for that. :) I think I'm headed to sleeeeeeeep.

Yay for stolen internet connections (or gracious neighbors)! How could one not love updating their blog in the middle of the week?

Sunday, Sundae?

2008-10-19T22:34:00.006-06:00

It appears Sundays are the only days I will be updating this thing-

Things to report:

I am in an actual official relationship and I'm basking in it. It's strange how everything is running so smoothly. However, I'm totally pleased with it and just going with the flow. So, this is what it's like to be with someone who actually likes you back--huh. :)
In news of work, I get to plan adult! Right now I'm just doing Men's but soon the whole Adult store will be MINE (as long as Tuesday runs as smoothly as planned)!
I am financially retarded. At least I got my car registered and I'm getting back on my feet. Damn the Gap for it's cheap clothes and awesome discount (oh, and me for being retarded).
There is a mouse scurrying around my apartment and my roommate won't let me kill it. Gross, gross, gross.
I am obsessed with Twitter.

That's all I can think of for now. Time to go home where the internet doesn't exist. Sigh. I should find SOME way to budget it in. I should start posting more posts...particularly ones with pictures. Those were fun...and I had a lot of views. People stalking me on the internet. Oh, so fun.

Join Twitter and follow me (C'mon! I'm a loser and I only have like 8 people following me and I need some lovin'.) twitter.com/missdansie. Get on it! :)

Have a lovely week all three of my readers! Expect more...probably next week. :)

Happiness.

2008-10-12T15:55:00.004-06:00

I hid the post I wrote yesterday. I don't even care who read it. Ha.

Today Miss Dansie is elated.

p.s. Find me on twitter! http://twitter.com/missdansie

A draft turned into a real post from May 22nd.

2008-10-12T15:51:00.000-06:00

I went M.I.A. for a bit. I couldn't decide how I felt about having so many people read this blog of mine. I decided today...that I just don't care.

So, a small update. For those of you that don't know, I was promoted at Le Gap. It pays off to not quit. Ha. My job title? Something that has the words, "visuals," and "expert" in it. Am I am expert? Oh, definitely not yet, but I'm on my way there. :) I'm super excited about the prospect of learning something new.

In other news, I saw Ben Folds live last month. It was absolutely incredible. Even more incredible? We pull up in the parking lot at Saltaire, I look over to see this group of guys walking toward us, one of which was...Ben Folds. The conversation goes something like this:

Me: "Ashley! LOOK! Ben Folds is walking toward us."
Ashley: "What? Where?!"
Me: "Walking toward us!"
JJ: "That's not Ben Folds, that's just some guy that looks like him."
Ashley: "Yeah, that's not him."
Me: "I swear. Maybe I'm crazy."
*Ashley falls out of the car saying: "Oh my gosh! JJ! It IS Ben Folds!"

She proceeds to chase him, becoming a bedazzled fan telling him she loves him (where she later says, "I can't believe I told him I loved him. I wanted to tell him I loved his music. He probably thinks I'm crazy.") and asked if she could take a picture. This would be the awesome picture (which by the way, I took):

Does Ashley love him? Surely, it's obvious. :)

The show was fantastic. A night of dancing, singing, and laughter. I'm so glad I got to go with Ash. She the best show/concert buddy ever. JJ was fun too. :) I'm glad he's part of our family now too. He loves Miss Ashley, and that's just peachy.

Last week I worked 56.5 hours. I was beat. Do you know how much that sucked? Hardcore suckage. I get to make my own schedule next week though, yay for that. I work 29.5 hours at the Gap and two shifts at HVCC. It'll be bomb. I have all day Saturday off...and have a short meeting Sunday. Freedom!

Greater news? I'm moving out! So excited. I'm probably quitting HVCC soon too. I don't need to drive from SLC to Draper every time I work. I don't want to drive out here and not hang with my family. Besides, gas is expensive.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know why I never posted this, so eat it up. Now. :)

Saturday Nights Spent in Draper

2008-10-11T20:34:00.013-06:00

I have officially had this blog for a year. Did I mention that already?

I have been listening to the song, "The Story" by Brandi Carlile on repeat via youtube tonight. I do enjoy, now if only I had the CD :).

I have been in a contemplative mood all today and have been thinking about digesting my thoughts on here, and I guess that's going to start right now.

So, I disappeared for awhile. Why? Because suddenly I was complying to someone else's beliefs other than my own. I don't know why I complied. Why I gave up so many pieces of me to make me feel like I was whole, when in all actuality I was a holey mess.

I, April Dansie, talk. I talk about anything and everything. It is how I process things, how I make them make sense. Keeping things inside my brain makes me anxious, overly analytical, and a spaz. I have been trying to figure out why the hell I have been so stressed out lately, and I found my answer. I started talking again and started laughing more. I know people think it's annoying how I talk so much, but I am so sick of apologizing for it. I've apologized my entire life, and I am finished. I shouldn't feel guilty for being honest and open with the way I feel. I can properly identify my emotions and stating them helps me get over whatever is plaguing me. No more apologies. I am April Dansie, I talk. If you don't like that about me, don't talk to me.

I don't know why I feel it's necessary to change myself in order to be the "someone" that someone else wants. Why I hide, and why I change to be loveable. April Dansie, she's smart, she's funny. She's a word nazi, and is proud of it. She cares about the way other people feel and goes out of her way to make sure that whomever is comfortable. She's impatient. She's needy. She's particular and has weird unnecessary rules and fears. She's scared of way too many things. She's quirky and witty. She's spontaneous. She loves everyone, even the people who hurt her. She's passionate. She's loveable. So, why change? Do I honestly feel like I won't be enough? Because honestly, for the right person I will be.

I just got distracted by youtube. Now? Ben Folds. He's brilliant.

I think I'm done writing. My train of thought left the station without me. I've been mad at myself for putting up with such stupid shit for so long. I'm letting it all go. I'm letting in the good. Here's hoping I don't mess that up somehow as well.

Right now my heart is smiling and the good is going. Miss Dansie is happy. Genuinely pleased and I'm so scared it's going to disappear.

"There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you,
While the world is watchin'
All you need is the thing that you've forgotten,
And that's to learn to live with what you are."

p.s. Happy Birthday Austin, I love you!

I wish the following...

2008-09-25T16:16:00.002-06:00

--That my Zune wasn't broken so my obsession with The Counting Crows could flourish in it's entirety today.

--That I read the newspaper, yeah, I know, I could...I just don't. I'm feeling all out of sorts without the internet or TV. I'm living an anachronistic lifestyle...except for my lovely blackberry.

--That keeping my room clean wasn't such a pain in the ass. ha.

--That I didn't have to work at the HVCC tonight...as I'm supposed to be en route as we speak, but apparently I'm going to be late. Blame it on the radio (go download Sia, now).

--That I had Ben Folds' newest cd...waiting impatiently for Tuesday.

--That I had a washer and dryer...

And I think that's enough.

I've missed this lovely little blog. Look forward to more posts...maybe...as long as I have time when I'm around the internets. I've got to get a connection to my house.

Harder than I imagined.

2008-08-17T18:47:00.002-06:00

This month.

This life of mine.

It's all being resolved, but who knew it could be this hard?

Time flies.

2008-08-01T13:56:00.003-06:00

It's been almost three months since the last time I updated this thing.

Three months.

You wouldn't believe how much of my life has changed, how I have changed.

I'm living downtown now, no longer at the parent's house. I love having my own place (not techincally my own as I live with Nicole). It's nice to just go home and do whatever, the only obligations I have being mine.

I have a new job at the Gap. "Brand Logistics/Visual Merchandising Expert," code for visuals/shipment lady. It's been hectic, and working there and at HVCC is hard on me. I've been super tired, anxious and stressed lately. The only thing I've wanted to do is sleep and forget I have other obligations. Too bad I'm too responsible for that right?

I turned 23 in June. Reconnected with a friend, then disconnected again. June was a freaking mess. Heather came and visited me, we had many a drunken nights together. Got in a couple of tiffs, but got over them quickly. Celine Dion, Memory Grove, and tuxedo shops will never be viewed the same.

I have a bicycle! It's red, and fun to ride. (Thank you Matthew Crane!)

Jewel released her new CD in June, and just so you're all aware, it's not as good as I hoped it would be. However, the last chorus in "Perfectly Clear" is sang at the top of my lungs and I love it.

July came and went so fast. Filled with hope, high expectations, stress, and most of all--new lessons learned. I can't even describe this last month without getting too much into reality. Something of which doesn't need to be discussed on here.

Now, today is August 1st. This year, I'm making August be the best month of the year. I'm not celebrating September 1st again. August is not a month to fear. It's a month to grow and change. I'm starting it out right, as I'm about to head over to my grandma's house, to learn.

I'm still working on "being," it's proving to be more difficult than I first imagined. One step forward, on August 1st.

Hmm.

2008-05-11T23:49:00.002-06:00

Does working two jobs hinder me from having a real life?

I'm pretty sure the answer to that question is "Uhm, Yes."

I was just reading over my entries from this last semester...and what are they about? How I'm tired, and going to bed. Or how I have class in the morning, therefore I'm doing nothing. Ha. Perhaps I am a loser. :)

Anyway...What? Oh, I'm going to bed because I have to work in seven hours. That's right friends.

At least I don't work HVCC tomorrow night. It'll be nice...considering I spent all of Mother's Day there. Nine hours. And all I wanted was to be home hangin' with my Mama.

I love her. But not only that, I really, really like her. She's the best.

Allergic

2008-05-10T22:05:00.003-06:00

Seriously. I have allergies up the wazoo these days. Sneezing, congestion, headaches, blahblahblah. I'm so dizzy my head is spinnin'. Ha.

Anyway.

Hi. I've been MIA these days. Nothing to really say, yet so many things that need to be said. Yet most of them will never leave my mouth.

Tonight is a night of play. It's going to rock my two little socks off.

I don't have anything else to say.

(I just heard there's supposed to be a thunderstorm on Monday, can we all say yay?)

I'm gonna go get ready for my awesomeness. :)

Ciao.

Lesson Learned.

2008-05-04T12:35:00.006-06:00

Mission accomplished.

Interesting how long it took to realize.

Almost four and a half years. And here I am. Finally free.

All because of a silly comment through text messaging.

Free.

Just so you know...

2008-05-03T22:35:00.005-06:00

I love my Heather.

There is nothing like drinking with someone that lives over 2000 miles away.

Currently we're working on.. 3 hours 14 minutes and 47 seconds.

Who couldn't love her with all their heart?

She makes me happy.

Well, well, well, what have we here?

2008-04-29T22:34:00.002-06:00

Sandy-Claws huh? Oh, I'm really scared.

Ha.

I have a lot of people that look at this website everyday. I'm seriously surprised.

Anyway, I think it's important to mention that I got over the whole "blah, blah, blah, the past, blah, blah, blah."

And, I have funny pictures from Jennifer's birthday I want to post on here..but can't find my freaking camera battery, so currently, I'm screwed...as are you. :)

On another note, I have not only been writing in my journal more lately, but I've been reading it as well. Sometimes I just want to rip the pages out and burn them. Is it important that someone down the road read my journal and see I was foolish? I think not. But, perhaps I'm learning from my bad decisions. Here's to hoping.

Here's to honesty, fearlessness, and freedom.

Driving Around

2008-04-19T00:33:00.005-06:00

Today, I worked 11 hours. That's right. Eleven...and, it was totally worth the money. Next paycheck is going to rock.

Anyway, after work I went out with Belle and Derek to Applebee's. We left around 11:30. I wasn't quite ready to go home so I filled up my tank, and drove around.

I don't know why, but I headed to South Mountain, which seems to be the place I always wander when I want to drive around. Tonight, I was assaulted by memories.

First came The Scott's, which got me to wondering about how their kids were doing, which then reminded me of the night Ashley came and started banging on the windows scaring the shit out of me one night before I put the kids to bed.

Then, driving further up the road, I thought of Justina. Then of the time I locked the doors to my truck before putting the car in gear and chasing it down the street as her mother answered the door...dancing, acting like nerds, Cole Barnson, Ryan Jones, the Dome Park, Halloween dance, Rhett Bailey, sneaking around underground...

Up the road I though of Joey, (because one time I went on a delivery with him). Ha ha, oh the crush I used to have on him. Drive bys? Getting caught. Ah. Dear.

As I got closer to the new temple I got to thinking about Kyan, and the night we walked around that huge house. It's so creepy. For some reason it seemed safer when just the structure was there. It's absolutely enormous.

My mind then went on to Miss Josie and Ryan Miller as I drove by Jordan Stoddard's house. Which transformed into thoughts of Eddie, as his was the next house we seemed to pass before deciding to head home for the day. Running into his neighbor's mailbox and feeling like an asshole. Jacque telling me we should confess, Josie saying, "DRIVE AWAY!" Speeding over the bumps in the subdivision and laughing our asses off. The huge frog I almost ran over, then chased down the road. Being honest and confessing, then getting off scott free.

As I continued to the round about, instead of heading home, I drove by Douglas' house, which in turn really got me thinking about things. I'm pretty sure tonight needs to be dissected further on a piece of paper (or 5). It's funny, some of the memories I have with him. The time the cops caught us making out, the day Maynard Ferguson came and we spent the whole day laughing, California, Oregon, etc. We had a great time together you know? I'm no longer holding on to those things. I also have to let go of all the negative things, the lies, the deceit, the heartache, the abandonment. It's okay we're just friends that speak on random occasions (most of the time when I'm drunk). Am I still hung up on him? No. Sometimes I just have a hard time differentiating myself from him, and the things I now feel because of him. He helped me grow in to the person I am, and he helped me immensely a year and a half ago. I'm grateful for him, and I'm letting him go. Letting go of the love, the anger, the sadness. It's okay for me to be free.

As I drove home, this song started playing:

(okay, okay, I know the freaking video is stupid, but I wanted you to hear this version from "Goodbye Alice in Wonderland," instead of the version from 0304.)

I was taken back to Alaska, dancing in my room, singing this song at the top of my lungs without realizing my roommates were home. I'm really sad I won't be in Alaska this summer. I'll miss seeing all the people I was looking forward to being with. I just know I wouldn't be happy there. It would be depressing, and really, the last thing I need right now is depression.

The lyrics...

If you want my heart
You have to promise not to tear it apart
‘Cause my heart
Has been hurt a lot
And it always seems
Love is not sweet like in dreams
Something falls through
And I don’t want that to happen to me and you

So be, be careful
Warning: fragile heart
So be, be careful
Warning: fragile heart

Last Saturday
We ate dinner at your parents place
Last Saturday you said
How you feel will not go away
Well all the fishes in the sea
Cannot be happier than me

So be, be careful
Warning: fragile heart
So be, be careful
Warning: fragile heart

Well only fools believe that
Nothing changes, nothing leaves
But I need to believe
That we at least can have some dignity
‘Cause everything changes
Nothing stays the same
But that’s not excuse to be casual and place blame
Be careful with me
Careful with me, oh
So be careful
Warning
So be careful
Fragile heart
(repeat chorus)
Don’t break my heart (repeat x6)

I just like it. Because it's true.

I've been thinking about Ian a lot lately. He added me on facebook, and I honestly don't know how I feel about talking to him...yet I do it anyway. Hi. Dumb. Time to let go of all that crap too. He helped me grow up, listened to me when I was hurting, and just loved me for me. It's okay that what we once had is gone. It's okay we've both moved on, and it's okay he's happy. It's been hard to accept that the one person who understood me at the hardest time in my life is no longer there. Although, I will admit, it's more my fault than his. I just couldn't do it. It makes me sad to admit that, but it's the truth. It hurt too much. It hurts that I still miss him, yet knowing full well that we can't be friends. My heart misses Ian. It's okay though. It's time to be free.

I'm learning to be, instead of do. Being me is important, and I lose sight of that when I get insecure. So, I'm taking a deep breath, and just being. I'm me, and I love me more than I love anyone else. All the stupid things I've done have made me into this person, and I love her with all my heart. No more judgments, just love.

Deep breath.

Just be.

Today...

2008-04-16T12:43:00.005-06:00

Is bound to be a good day. Things at work are better. Both places. Everything is peaceful.

The only bad thing being my feet freaking hurt.

I've been thinking about people who have come in and out of my life a lot lately. Little reminders of the person I used to be. I miss being naive. When the world wasn't crazy, I wasn't crazy, and people's intentions were truer than they are today. Deciphering intentions is no fun.

Sigh.

Anyway, another short post. Have a video.

Jewel's new song...New album out June 3rd. :)

Oooh, the "Official" music video.

Once again...

2008-04-15T22:55:00.005-06:00

A productive day. It was crazy. I got a new nose ring, it's cute. Oh, and a new purse, and shoes. Shoes I can't wear for two reasons: a) it snowed today. b) Remember my story about trotting around on my fake horse and hurting my toe at the beginning of Feb? Yeah. It's still sore. I'm thinking I may have hurt it more than I first thought.

I'm freaking irritated tonight. My mind has taken over and I'm freaking out. Freaking out because I'm over analyzing every little thing. Who's to say I'm not right though? I think it's time to call Nicole and get her to tell me to stop acting like a nut. Seriously.

When did I become so aware of the things I said? And, why am I so worried about the reaction? I'm so flipping irritated that I'm second guessing my footsteps. I feel like I'm sinking in quicksand.

I deleted 36 people off myspace today. Ha. Talk about a friend clean-up. My ultimate goal was to only have 3 pages of friends, and I succeeded. Awesome.

No pictures this post, although I DO have a freaking funny video of Jennifer getting a lap dance to "Sexy Back" at the bar on her birthday. Classic. I also have a new cute picture of Max and I.

This weekend was fun. :) I particularly enjoyed seeing Tyler again. He makes me happy. I just wish he didn't live up the damn canyon. Funny story: I bought new jeans that are WAY too long, so I have to wear heels with them. Well, I wasn't thinking about the snow and how scary it might be to walk across the ice in these lovely shoes of mine. Totally almost biffed it like 4 times, until Tyler came out and took my hand to save me. He's such a doll. I got to play on his Macbook Air, which FYI is amazing. I don't care that I'm a PC lover. Delish.

Anyway, I think it's time to take these analytical thoughts to bed, or to my journal. I don't want to write about this in my journal though, because I don't want to follow the pattern of my life. I just want things to work out this time damn it. No more freaking drama please. No more damn lessons.

I'm getting sick of growing up.

Accomplishments...

2008-04-08T18:05:00.003-06:00

Today was full of productivity.

I haven't been out and about as much as I was today in a long time.

Went to Urban...it wasn't nearly as cool of an experience as I hoped for.

Ha.

*I just noticed how short all my posts have been these days. All words, no pictures, no music reccomendations. I'm breaking away friends.

Today was...

2008-04-06T22:46:00.001-06:00

A freaking disaster.

Until I saw Ashley again.

I love her for making me feel better.

And, because she's amazing.

That and, she's my sister. :)

sometimes...

2008-04-05T23:07:00.002-06:00

This little bird named April makes bad decisions.

Yep.

However, at least it was a night of laughter...and weird awkward moments.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy time. Fo' real.

Rant...

2008-04-03T16:05:00.003-06:00

I have a pet peeve with people on Facebook having a million and a half freaking applications.

Isn't the point of a social networking site to network with friends about who you are?

Who the hell cares if your a zombie or vampire? If your worth $20 or $1,000,000 to your friends? What kind of flower/kisser/color you are?

It's annoying to go to someone's profile and have a hard time just navigating to try and find their "about me" section. A-freaking-noying.

I have a friend request from this girl I'm pretty sure I went to high school with, but I won't add her simply because her profile is cluttered (hi, that sounds bitchy). It just means every freaking time I log on I'll get some stupid application invitation.

That's right friends. I hate the applications on facebook.

A more recent contemplation...

2008-03-30T13:07:00.002-06:00

After speaking to my mother yesterday, I'm contempating closing my blog.

That, or being more vague about my life. Who knows.

I have found the thing my life has been lacking.

2008-03-29T01:16:00.005-06:00

Research. My brain needs information to soak up.

I think it's time to start writing again. Fiction. Perhaps that will help relieve some of the stress in my life. I don't know what's up, but something definitely is...I've got to break out of this funk. Starting tomorrow.

Class at 9. Yay. Keep me company someone?

I think it's important for me to say, right now, in this very moment, I'm not afraid to be me. No matter the decisions I make, or the people I might share my life with.

I am free.

Free of expections and resentment. Which is one of the reasons I write about me on the internet where whomever can read about whatever.

Because, I can.

And, I am not afraid.

Post 79 (For Real)

2008-03-26T19:51:00.006-06:00

Wow, I'm worth a lot of words.

So today...

I totalllly renigged on my two weeks with the Gap. There is a management position available (stock supervisor) and I'm totally applying for it. I have all the skills that are needed, and there aren't many things I'll have to learn how to do. Praise to lord for Miss Lisa (whom I still haven't talked to in ages...I need to write down to get her phone number tomorrow).

I also emotionally threw up on my math teacher. I mean, crying all that jazz. It's weird how these bits of emotion are attacking me at unknown times. I'm not dealing well with the stress of my life these days. Sigh.

Good thing though! If I get the job as stock supervisor...I'll quit working at HVCC! As sad as it would be not to work with Michelle, it would be awesome to get away from the drama that surrounds me there.

I have no pictures today. Have a video I found on...Youtube the other day that without fail always makes me laugh.

Damn those funny English boys with their accents!

Oh, and I have news about Jeff. Anyone want it? Talk to me not on my blog. :)

Sionara for tonight...

A quick something or other...

2008-03-26T00:15:00.007-06:00

I'm in love with Rocky Votolato tonight. Too bad he's married. Ha.

And, I might be falling in love with Youtube. Wanna see why?

This is my most favorite, favorite, favorite Rocky Votolato song. Not only to sing, but to listen to. Oh yeah, it's called, "Alabaster." Which reminds me. If I would've gotten Ashley's cat Kronk, his name would have been Alaster. Freaking awesome. When I get a white cat, that's going to be it's name.

ALSO! I found this girl the other day...who recorded the whole Damien Rice concert I went to. Only she didn't record Accidental Babies, which is stupid, because I love that song.

And...I've been inspired to make a "box of memories." Perhaps I'll do that right now, because I had a cup of coffee at 9:00 and I am not tired. What a surprise. I have to work at 7:00am too. Yay!

Last week at Gap (my mantra...although, I'm not gonna lie. I'll miss the discount).

I read something online today that made me smile (as if making me smile is really all THAT hard). Just thought ya'll should know.

Ashley. We're all still waiting for Part 2. Freaking get on it.

Heather, I love you, just think only...3 months! Then, we can share our awesomeness in the same state...city...place! I misssssss you.

Ma! Thanks for coffee (even though it wasn't decaf) tonight.

Oh! And! Nicole came and visited me at work this morning. We had a nice chat.

I almost did something stupid last night. Praise the lord for my killer instincts.

I am looking for a new job. Give me ideas. I'm thinking...airport?

Someone should post a funny "I saw you" about me in City Weekly. It would be awesome. Make sure it's strange if you do it, and remind me to pick up a copy that week. ha ha.

Belle! I'm glad we both have hatred for the same person now. It makes my heart sigh.

Miss B! We need to hang out. Soon. Either classic eggs...or we could go on a dinner date, per usual. Perhaps on Faster Day.

Annnnnnnd. That is all.

Night kids.

(using my blog as a social networking site...hmmm, we'll see how it goes. Now to the box of memories.)

p.s. My shoes are no longer organized. And this post...was wicked random. Thank you caffeine.

An Easter Update...

2008-03-24T21:17:00.008-06:00

So, yesterday was Easter. I woke up at 10:00 exhausted and grumbling because I had to be to work at 11:00. So not the best way to wake up on a Sunday morning.

(I had the weirdest dream. I got a boob job. My stitches were on the side of my boob, and the implants in the top. And for some reason they didn't sew up the bottom so there was this incision they didn't close. It was like they ran out of whatever it is they use to sew people up. What's up with that?)

Anyway, I woke up and the Majah was cooking breakfast. There were two gifts on the counter (with birthday wrap on them...again) and I say, "Who's birthday is it?" As Austin says, "It's Easter!" No baskets this year, just presents. :)

We eat breakfast. When we're done Mom gets up and grabs the presents and tells me all about what's in my box (without telling me what it is). Conversation goes as follows:

Mom: "When I found out you were going to Alaksa (she starts crying)"
Me: "Mom, why are you crying?"
Mom: "Because, I didn't want you to go. I don't want to prevent you from doing what you want to do, but I don't want you to leave me either. Anyway, I was thinking to myself, 'now, what can I get April to put in her suitcase as a surprise for when she gets to Alaska?' and I thought, and thought, and thought, and that's what's in your box."

So...I open it.

Disclaimer: These photos were taken like 30 minutes after I woke up, and I don't look very cute, but you have to see...

I had to put this one here...to show the wrapping paper! and, the corny smile of course.

It was my bunny. Well, not mine, but a new one of my bunny. Yes, I did start crying. And my dad says, "It's a stupid stuffed animal." ha ha.

So, you're probably thinking along the same lines as my father, "It's a damn stuffed bunny." But, it's obviously not.

When I was born, I was given a little bunny just like this one. I wore it out and by the time I was four or five. One day my mom and I were at Riverton Drug (yes, I still remember this) where they had a brand new bunny. My mom bought it for me, and yes...I'm admitting this to the world wide web...I still sleep with it.

He's not pink, his eyes are worn out...and his necklace fell off a looooong time ago.

Compare...

The little locket says 'Some bunny loves you.'

Did I REALLY just blog about stuffed animals? Why yes I did. Am I a nerd for this? Why, YES! I am! Which is okay.

But my mama loves me. And, I love her to death. But...not only do I love her, I really, really like her.

Now, want to see pictures from Easter Saturday? That's what I thought!

It's tradtion to have a big Easter egg hunt, then a BBQ with the Dansie family. The hunt/BBQ is always at our house...

Papa and Erik

Notice that Grace's skirt is on almost completely backwards. It was hilarious.

Emily and I took a bunch of pictures together. There was a really funny one on here...but I accidentally deleted it and, I reallllly don't want to take the time to upload it again.

I'll end with this photo, because it is awesome. Courtesy of the mother.

Alicia! We missed you! :) Hopefully the pictures don't make you too homesick. ;)

I can't think of a title tonight...

2008-03-22T22:54:00.005-06:00

Well...Hello! It's been a bit. Like an entire week. Whoa now.

Anyway, this last week went by freaking fast. Some things I accomplished:

I put in my two weeks at the Gap. I'm quitting, and I'm super sad that I am. I love all the people from South Towne that are there...but I can't work in that atmosphere anymore. Once again, I'm attempting to be in complete control of my universe.

I organized all my shoes. I know this seems stupid, but you would think it an accomplishment if you saw my collection. I also cleaned out my closet and found more things to take to the D.I. And, I organized all my drawers.

I finally got my blood drawn and crap for this unknown reason that doesn't need to be posted on my blog. This crap has been on my mind all week though, and it's driving me bonkers. By bonkers, I really mean anxiously crazy. Like that twisting of the guts kind of stuff. I don't know why I am so scared. You might be asking why I decided to say anything about this at all...except for the fact that it was something that I was scared to do, and now, the bad part is over.

Once again, something semi-vague. I'm confronting more issues that I didn't know existed, and I spent a lot of time crying this week. It's hard for me to face some of the crap that I am right now. It's better now, than never right? Crying isn't all THAT bad.

And, I learned the lyrics to most of the songs on Sarah Bareilles' cd. Time to move on to Sia. I'm listening to her/watching her on Youtube as we speak. Awesome.

I think this is my favorite version of this song. Yes, this is the song everyone probably knows by her, and it's also one of my favorites. Why? The lyrics.

"Help, I have done it again.
I have been here many times before.
Hurt myself again today,
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame.

Be my friend.
Hold me.
Wrap me up.
Unfold me.
I am small, and needy.
Warm me up...
And Breathe me.

Ouch. I have lost myself again.
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found.
Yeah, I think that I might break.
Lost myself again, and I feel Unsafe.

Be my friend,
Hold me.
Wrap me up.
Unfold me.
I am small, and needy.
Warm me up...
And Breathe me."

This pretty much sums up the way I felt at the end of last year. I can't believe it's been over 6 months since that shitty time. Life has definitely improved though. Praise the lord.

My, my, my, this post is full of vague references. I'll stop. If you want to know about the shitty time click here. I'm not sure what I wrote in September, but August. Man. What a month.

Anyway! Last night, after a minor freak out at work, I went and hung out with my Belle. We went over to her boyfriend, Derek's house. By the time I got there, everyone was basically drunk, and the night got fun...once April Dansie pulled out her camera. Don't believe me? Believe it!

Prepare yourself for like 20 pictures...

The first picture of the night. Me and My Belle...Miss Michelle.

Next, the terrifying picture Derek took of us when he covered the flash.

Michelle and I thought it was important to have numerous portraits of ourselves. Keep in mind there are like 20 more of these, and we're both relatively sober.

We took a break from ourselves and decided it was important to take pictures of other people.

Then...Jason came! We took a lot of pictures with him too. However, I enjoy this one the most, and it's taking bloggerland way too long to upload photos tonight (so you won't get to see the other awesomeness).

Meet Derek. Then Meet Derek and Michelle. The second photo was taken as he was arguing with Michelle telling her he wasn't going to touch my knees. For those of you who DON'T know, I hate, hate, hate it when people touch my knees. My weak spot, as you will.

This is the only "good" photo of Brady that I got. So I'm sorry if you're offended. Just laugh. Ha.

Anyway, last night was lovely. And my tired eyes are ready for some sleep. More to come tomorrow. I'm takin' my camera to work baby. :)

An early Saturday morning post...

2008-03-15T00:16:00.003-06:00

Hello there, all my favorite people in the world. I hope your day/night was as fun as mine.

I have come here bearing a matter of confusion, a conundrum, and a confession.

First, the Confusion:

So, I want you all to know that I am awesome. Why? I mean, this shouldn't even be a question on your brains, but I will enlighten you anyway.

I spoke my mind today and got all those crappy, "I hate you" emotions out. Everything I've been feeling for the past three weeks is out in the open, and even though I might've hurt someone's feelings, I don't feel bad about it. I think the way I've been beating up myself more than makes up for the way I might've made this person feel tonight. I am resposible for my actions, but I'm not responsible for the REactions of other's.

Anyway, why I'm confused:

How is it possible that I could be at blame in this situation? And, where does one even get the audacity to try and blame me when I was open, forward, honest, etc. from the very beginning? There was no second guessing. I laid everything on the table in plain sight. I'm not a stupid facetious girl who's scared to let people know the things she's thinking. Most of the time I'm TOO flipping honest and that's what gets me in trouble. But ME? The one at fault? I don't think so (although once again, I'm not denying the responsibility of my own actions). I guess my confusion is really disguised as Bewilderment. Si.

Just know this. You will not hear me bitching about the stupid mistakes I make anytime soon. Because I'm making better decisions, and even though I fell off the wagon, I'm back on, and we're trotting away into the sunset of good decisions.

Now, The Conundrum:

This one is going to be vague, because revealing too much here on this lovely blog of mine could make trouble. So here it is. I feel like I'm being overbearing.

That is all.

And...my confession:

Hmm, It's not dark enough for me to spill the beans yet. Perhaps as I'm falling asleep I'll think more of posting it. Probably not.

Anyway, JOSIE'S HOME!!!!!! I saw her tonight and it made me, happy, happy, happy! We might be going grocery shopping tomorrow. Hey now, don't laugh! It's a good time to chat. We're hanging out later on Sunday night too. It's always nice to have your best friend in town. I didn't realize how much I really missed her until Saturday night when I called her crying.

Sigh.

I love Miss Josie Leigh Stillman. You all should know that.

Alright crazies. Time for a good shower, read, and sleep.

g'night!

Just a Little Addition...

2008-03-13T21:59:00.005-06:00

Well, I was looking at Yael Naim yesterday when I heard that song on the Apple commercial...

I found this...

But ALSO! Today just found this...

Now, had this song been released like this by Britney Spears, would I have liked it more? Si. So I'll like this one better.

I wish I had never stopped playing the piano.

Hmm. Thursday Night Eh?

2008-03-13T21:25:00.003-06:00

Yep. I'm home. I got off work wicked early today. We were super slow. I had the luxury of working with someone whom I cannot stand at the moment, and even though things were awkward, everything is okay.

(my internet is moving freaking slow tonight, what's with that?)

So, as I mentioned before, Friday night was awesome. I met my ma's new man, and went to see the Band of Annuals at The Urban Lounge.

Ash, JJ, and I met Ashbee, Sarah, and Toby at The Tav, where fun times were had.

One of my straws was a different size than the other, so I posed as Cruella DeVille. Awesome. The one of Ashbee was even better, but I'm pretty sure she deleted it.

Ah, aren't we precious?

So we head to The Urban Lounge where you get to meet...

The Band of Annuals.

This was the first song I ever heard them play...coincidentally on Feb. 13, 2007. The day that changed EVERYTHING (maybe for the second time). Man, that was a shitty night.

Nicole was also at Urban, drunk and awesome. Ashley mentioned wanting to hang out with Nicole and get drunk, just to laugh. She thinks Nicole is as cool as me. Damn!

Ash and I danced, danced, danced.

Saturday night, was super eventful. I got to see Hank. He makes me happy. All of them do; Hank, Toddular, Max, and Jason. It was a night of drama, tears, and facing some strong emotions/memories. Along with standing up for my best friend, whom I miss to death. (SHE'S COMING TO TOWN SATURDAY!:)) Praise the lord for honesty, and the ability to stick up for myself and others. (This night was one of the major factors of me changing my mind about Alaska.)

Anyway, the rest of the week was uneventful. Except for Tuesday afternoon. :) Oh, and I got written up at The Gap today for being late. Lame.

I need to find a real job that I love.

That's all.

Oh! I'm reading a new book:

I'm on page 6. :)

Taking a Break. Cha.

2008-03-12T16:45:00.001-06:00

Wanna know what I have?

New music. Wanna know who?

I've only really listened to Sara Bareilles and Sia, a bit of Kate Nash. And I have no idea who Kate Voegele is. If you know me, you know why I picked up this cd.

Listen to, "Bottle it up," by Sara Bareilles. Make sure you hear the lyrics.

April Hates...

2008-03-11T23:45:00.000-06:00

Springing ahead.

I have to work at 7am...and where am I? Awake. At 11:45. On the computer.

Sheesh.

Today was a lovely day, just thought you all would like to know.

News you all want to hear, I'm sure.

2008-03-10T22:33:00.003-06:00

At 10:34pm on March 10, 2008, April Dansie cancelled her flight to Alaska.

There are many reasons as to why I'm not going. The biggest being this: I am happy here, and if I leave, I'll be unhappy in Alaska. I don't need to punish myself anymore. What's done is done. It's over.

And, when I say to myself, "I'm staying in Utah for the summer," my heart breathes a sigh of relief.

It's not right to go to AK anymore. I'm learning lessons. And, I'm staying home.

So for all of you that were going to miss me? Guess what. You'll only have to miss me when I'm not around. :)

I love everyone that talked me out of going to Alaska and hating myself. You all deserve a gold star on your foreheads.

Grrr.

2008-03-08T12:50:00.002-07:00

Man Oh Man,

This girl hates math.

More on last night to come tomorrow. For once I had an AWESOME Friday night. Freaking. Awesome.

New Music

2008-03-07T09:44:00.002-07:00

Last night my friends, I was pissed off. Angry, crying, outraged, furious, ______insert any synonym of angry here. Driving home from work, Miss Nicole calls me as I'm freaking out in my car and convinces me to go downtown to see "Holy Fuck" at The Urban Lounge.

Oh. My. God. They're AMAZING. Seriously. Go check them out. I mean come on, a band with the name Holy Fuck, they've gotta be good.

This is their Myspace.

We danced like lunatics. I love Nicole.

freaking cool...I am! :)

2008-03-06T14:57:00.000-07:00

See?

Breaking News!

2008-03-04T13:15:00.001-07:00

Oh my goodness!

Here I am worrying about going to AK and being alone, blah, blah, blah. When Tiffanie sends me a comment on myspace today asking me when I'd be there.

I totally forgot she was back up there.

Things with Alaska are looking up!

More Adventurous?

2008-03-03T22:07:00.005-07:00

Tonight was fun. Went to math then went and met Miss B for dinner at Mimi's. I've officially decided that being vegetarian is not so fun to be when you go out to eat. I made this observation before, but tonight was even more lame because they took my favorite thing off the menu. Blast I tell you, BLAST!

Anyway, who is B? She's really Natatlie..but she's one of my pals, one of my good pals whom I only see when we sporadically make plans for dinner (or classic eggs at midnight). We used to see each other almost everyday, but now we're both too busy and don't work together. *insert frown here*

Anyway, I love this lady. I just thought you should all know. I particularly enjoy the elbow dancing, dirty jokes/innudendos, and the trucks that go "RAWR." She's an honest person, and even though she can be a bit...bitchy (hey! you would agree lady!) she's still awesome.

I'm glad that we are each other's mom. (not you Mom, my REAL mom. ha ha. We're awesome.)

Anyway, here we are in Vegas, and I'm sicker than a dog. Hence why I'm drinking coffee instead of alcohol.

Here's how the conversation went:
"We need a picture of us together!"
B: "Here! I'll model my new purse!"

She's awesome. SEriously. <----I didn't fix that for a reason.
Once again, in Vegas, a happy mom. That's for sure.

Alright now, my subject. I have a new song for you to look up. Do any of you actually do this? I mean, I know I have a lot of people that look at this thing...but nobody says anything...Get on it!

Song: More Adventurous
Artist: Rilo Kiley

And it's only doubts that we're counting
On fingers broken long ago
I read with every broken heart we should become
More adventurous
And if you banish me from your profits
And if I get banished from the kingdom up above
I'd sacrifice money and heaven all for love
Let me be loved, let me be loved

And if my brain quits, well I guess then that's just it
And if my hands stop working you can call me lazy
And if I get pregnant, I guess I'll just have the baby
Let it be loved, let me be loved

I've been trying to nod my head, but it's like I've got a broken neck
Wanting to say I will as my last testament
For me to be saved and you to be brave
We don't have to walk down that aisle
'Cause if marriage ain't enough
Well at least we'll be loved

I felt the wind on my cheek coming down from the east
And thought about how we are all as numerous as leaves on trees
And maybe ours is the cause of all mankind
Give love to make more, try to stay alive

I've been trying to nod my head, but it's like I've got a broken neck
Wanting to say I will as my last testament
For you to be saved and me to be brave
We don't have to walk down that aisle
'Cause if marriage ain't enough
Well at least we'll be loved

I really like Rilo Kiley. I can thank Mr. Tyler McConnell for introducing me to them. Hmm, on that note, I need to hang out with Tyler. I miss him!

Here have some more lyrics by Rilo Kiley,

Song: Portions for Foxes

"There's blood in my mouth 'cause I've been biting my tongue all week
I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And It's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

I know I'm alone if I'm with or without you
but just bein' around you offers me another form of relief
When the loneliness leads to bad dreams
and the bad dreams lead me to callin' you
and I call you and say "C'MERE!"

And it's bad news
Baby I'm bad news
I'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

And it's bad news
Baby it's bad news
It's just bad news, bad news, bad news

'Cause you're just damage control
for a walking corpse like me - like you

'Cause we'll all be
Portions for foxes
Yeah we'll all be
Portions for foxes

There's a pretty young thing in front of you
and she's real pretty and she's real into you
and then she's sleepin' inside of you
and the talkin' leads to touchin'
then touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left

And it's bad news
I don't blame you
I do the same thing
I get lonely too

And you're bad news
My friends tell me to leave you
That you're bad news, bad news, bad news

That you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
Baby you're bad news
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
and you're bad news
I don't care I like you
I like you"

I was tempted to take the other song off and leave this one, seeing as I was only going to put the first verse and chorus...then I changed my mind. It might be a little tacky, but it's my blog...so I'll decide. If you don't read them, I won't be offended. How will I know anyway...

I think it's about time for me to go to bed. OH YEAH! I had the CRAZIEST freaking dream ever today. It involved panic attacks, swollen eyelids, strange bathtubs, tupperware, Hidden Valley blowing up and everybody dying, and me losing my work shirt. I woke up in a panic. It was freaking STRANGE. I think I'm going to go find a dream dictionary and figure out what the hell it meant.

That means, Good Night to you guys!

A Synopsis.

2008-03-02T20:24:00.010-07:00

I have officially shut my phone off for the evening. Why? Because I'm sick of trying to get over my week of being psycho, by ignoring the fact that it's not ringing.

Let me tell you a little something about Miss April Dansie...AKA: Miss Lirpa Eisnad.

She is not a lover of suspense. Suspense books, movies etc.

She is impatient, and overly analytical.

Therefore, when a situation arises in her life where all three of these freaking emotions are involved, she simply goes bonkers.

As she is right now...

I had fun Thursday night, and even though I missed Joshua Radin and Ingrid Michaelsen, I got to see the ma. A couple glasses of champagne, and you get...

Lip gloss kisses...

and...

A smiley April.

Ha Ha.

This weekend was seriously uneventful. Friday night, as you know I went to bed. Saturday I drank a glass of red wine and read the beginning of a corny romance novel. Now tonight? I think I'll continue last night's activities.

I have to work at 7:00 tomorrow morning, which I'm getting really sick of. I should just buy my jeans and quit the Gap. Sigh. But I won't. I miss working at South Towne with Miss Lisa. I miss her terribly but I have no way of getting a hold of her. Perhaps that will also be a quest for tomorrow.

I feel like I'm getting worse at writing instead of better. I think it's time to practice those creative writing skills. Obviously I need to work on my transitions.

Then again, my blog is like my mind. Sporadic, disorganized, and lovely (ha)...also a little skewompas.

I leave for Alaska in...One month and 29 days. I hate it that I'm going alone. Sometimes I'll be sitting here (like now) and suddenly become terrified and want to change my plane ticket so I won't have to go. I'm so nervous. The other night in the break room I started talking about Skagway and got those tingly butterflies, then I start thinking about everything I'll be missing again. Birthdays, Family Reunions, camping with the family at Farnsworth, Memorial Day, fun nights with my friends etc. I just don't want to go to Alaska and feel insecure about being alone.

I don't like to be alone. I've been dealing with abandonment issues for a long time. It's not that I don't like to be physically alone, but emotionally. Having people walk out on me for no apparent reason is too much for me to bear, so instead I push people away before they can get close enough to even be knocking on the door to my heart. Once my my heart realizes there's someone I might really like, it screams, "no!" and sends out an army to make sure the door stays guarded (aka me going crazy) which makes whomever run away. Whether my intention was to have fun, or to really be involved with someone I might like. It happens every time, like freaking clockwork.

In this transition of my heart sending out armies (my analogy for this is awesome don't you think?) I feel like I lose a piece of my integrity. Psycho April is not the REAL April. The real April is happy, funny, and amazing (hey a girl's gotta have some form of pride right?), she's not this insecure, unlovable mess you see presented in front of you.

Basically, I freak out because somewhere inside I feel like I AM unlovable, I WILL be abandoned, and I don't believe any man is going to be able to love the mess that I am.

Sigh, now that I got THAT out. I think I'm going to go to bed. Although, I will share with you something awesome I just found on You tube...

Granted the video quality isn't all that great, but it's the new trailer! You know, it seems FREAKING sad. Well, the Steve and Miranda thing does. Anyway, find a better quality one and link me to it...ha.

Night!

Leap Year?

2008-02-29T22:42:00.002-07:00

February 29th.

How bad would it suck to be born on today's date? By the time you died you'd probably only have like 20 real birthdays (if you lived til you were 80 anyway).

Anyway, it's Friday again, and what am I doing? Why, I'm at home updating my blog before I go to sleep. Toddular, Max, and Jason wanted me to go to Liquid Joe's but I'm in a funk and being around a whole bunch of crazy's didn't seem all that appealing. For, some, odd, reason. Hmm.

I think it's time to open my bottle of wine and write in my journal. Or maybe I'll just sleep. Who knows.

Whatever I'm doing, I'm leaving. Once again, I have class in the morning...

Goodnight!

Confessions...

2008-02-27T14:36:00.005-07:00

I've been in a state of confusion the last few days. I guess that's the best way to describe it.

I wish I could use my words more effectively. At least instead of lying I avoid situations right? Wrong. I just end up pissing myself off, along with everyone that has to listen to me be overanalytical.

Just to let you all know, Jeff left me Monday night. It made me sit up in bed and say, "No! Come back!" It was heart breaking. I saw him again last night only this time I was chasing him and when I finally caught up to him, I was terrified. I don't know how to intrepret where he took me.

And just when I decide that Jeff probably isn't real, he comes back and leaves me.

Anyway, I love Mary Chapin Carpenter. Listen to the song, "Maybe World." I've listened to it over and over as I've written this post. Get over the "bah, bah, bah's" at the beginning, and read the lyrics.

"It's all I hate but oh so tempting
Fills me up but leaves me empty
It's all regrets and second chances
What's the point of backward glances
That lead me nowhere
I can't go back there

Everything is so uncertain
All happening to you in a whirl
That's the beauty and the hurting
Of living in a maybe world

Who can stand all those should haves
They wake us up and make us feel bad
The famous road will stay untaken
All mistakes are worth making
Go back to sleep now
It all works out somehow

Everything is so uncertain
All happening to you in a whirl
That's the beauty and the hurting
Of living in a maybe world

I'm sorry for the rain that broke the dam that caused the flood
I'm sorry for the pain but that's the way it is because

Everything is so uncertain
All happening to you in a whirl
That's the beauty and the hurting
Of living in a maybe world

Everything is so uncertain
All the garbage baby and the pearls
That's the beauty and the hurting
Of living in a maybe world."
-Mary Chapin Carpenter; Maybe World; *Time *Sex *Love

Anyway, I owe Heather a phone call and I've got to get ready for work.

Joshua Radin and Ingrid Michaelsen tomorrow! Who's going with me?! I don't want to go alone... Perhaps I should see if someone wants me to work for them and get the hours instead of going. Even though the way Joshua woo's me makes my heart smile.

I may have to say, "Oh well." I'll think about it.

A Lovely Tuesday

2008-02-26T18:55:00.002-07:00

Today's weather was absolutely wonderful.

I went and applied for my passport this morning, filled my prescription, came home and ate lunch, washed my car, then went down to Draper Park and wrote in my journal for an hour. It was absolutely wonderful. I wrote a long story, and it's still not finished...although now at least we're to the fun part.

Max was in Draper when I went home to eat lunch. He stopped by and we chatted. It was lovely to see him. I actually think today was the first time I've ever been with Max just because. All the other times we've hung out with our friends together. He's such a sweetheart. I miss his Riley-Roo. It's been a loooong time since I've seen that cute little girl.

Anyway, class is starting, so I leave you...good riddance.

Allergic?!

2008-02-26T09:18:00.003-07:00

I have some bad news, news I don't want to report because I find it to be depressing.

I think I'm having some strange allergic reaction to coffee. I was laying in bed last night, it was about one, and my throat started to feel like it was closing up. Well, kind of, I kept coughing, and my tummy hurt.

It could be that I haven't had caffeine in over 2 weeks or something, or maybe my coffee is hurting my body?

Damn.

Looks like tea is my new best friend.

One Heart

2008-02-25T21:30:00.011-07:00

B and I went to dinner last Wednesday (FYI: It's not very fun to go to restaurants and not eat meat). We started talking about Celine Dion and I thought to myself, "Hey! She'd probably be fun to dance to (because I dance before I go to sleep)!" So I grab the album that has "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda" on it (ha ha) and BAM! Awesomeness (don't mock!)!

Listen...

"If you got one heart you are followin'
One dream keeps you wondering
Love lights your way through the night
One wish keeps you tryin'
Once your silver lining
Love lights your way through the night"

Those lyrics are from the song "One Heart" and I like them. Obviously.

Also, the lyrics to another song that are stuck in my head, but I'm not posting them. Sorry. You might get the wrong idea... :)

Anyway, it's Monday. Yay for Mondays. Monday should be every one's favorite day of the week. Why? It's a fresh beginning! Why are we always looking forward to the end of the week? I like the idea of beginning and not ending. Of course this might explain why I don't want to die. Then again who really wants to die? Well, not die, but to just end? There are so many things to experience and to learn. You know, my fear isn't death but how the people around me will be sad when I die (does that sound conceited or what?). I cry when people I barely know die. Then again, I cry about everything. Just like my Grandma Dansie. Instead of her boobs, I got her tear ducts. What do you think of that Mrs. Dasher?

Grandma Dansie= Amazing. I love her to pieces (even though I lied to her the other day because I couldn't reveal that Ashley was married, I'll have to apologize when I see her. I was being skittish and weird I'm sure). She's good at telling when something is wrong. I love how she knows all of her children's, in-law's, grandkid's, and great-grandkid's birthday's off the top of her head. How she cares so much about each and every one of us. How she's been a real mother to my mother. How she cries because she loves everyone so much. How she's proud, stubborn, and asks so many freaking questions. I think she's a contributor to me never being ashamed of not knowing something. It is impossible to feel like a fool for the decisions you make or have around this woman. She just takes you under her wings and loves you no matter what, even if your belief's clash. My Grandma is pretty much the most awesome person I've ever met (besides my mom that is). Then again, would my mom be the person she is if she never married my papa? I'm sure my dad wouldn't be the person he is if he wasn't born to her either. He'd probably close the cupboards when he cooked. ;)

How could you NOT love this lady? I sure do, with all my heart. :)

I'm pretty sure I should have gotten decaf coffee tonight (ashbee, maybe they DID mix up the coffees?) I'm freaking wide awake shaky. This means my journal and I will be having a nice sit/lay down in bed tonight.

Go fall in love with Damien Rice, please? Because I love him.

You know, I lack three qualities I wish I had right now.

1. Patience
2. Confidence
3. Restraint

I think that is all. Especially for tonight.

Except...I wish it would rain more.

Night!

April Dansie is...

2008-02-22T23:14:00.002-07:00

Irritated with herself.

I just want to sit and watch some sappy lovey dovey movie and cry.

Hmm, Netflix advertising "The Notebook." Maybe tomorrow night.

Sometimes I wonder why I took a Saturday morning class.

And, what's with the sucky fridays?

What would I do...

2008-02-19T18:59:00.002-07:00

Without the people I have in my life who make me realize when I'm being a RETARD.

Yep. Sometimes I can be incredibly stupid, are you surprised? Because you shouldn't be.

I'm glad Michelle has been helping me with my minor obsession, and that Heather has helped talk me out of being crazy.

Is it possible for April Dansie not to be crazy? I don't think so, but Heather helped me realize that I don't need to be so analytical and scared. Sometimes you just have to leap no matter what happens to be on the ground below. Whether it be a trampoline or a freaking pit o' rocks.

Leap! Because, "Falling feels like flying, until you hit the ground ." -Tom McRae

P.S. Ashley Dansie is now Ashley Dansie Dasher.

Yay for Ash and JJ!

2008-02-17T12:23:00.015-07:00

Charles Lester Hoffman

Charles L. Hoffman 1921 ~ 2008

Charles Lester Hoffman, 86, loved and respected father, grandfather, brother and friend, passed away February 12, 2008. He was born September 15, 1921 in Viborg, South Dakota to Terrance Vincent and Mary Elizabeth Tamblyn Hoffman. He married Cammila Fern Overlees; they later divorced. Charles married Bula Albrecht and Bula preceded him in death. Charles drove trucks for IML Freight Lines for over 30 years. He served two terms as Mayor of Draper, Utah and devoted countless hours providing community service. He loved his "Paint Horses" and golfing. Charles enjoyed meeting people and always said he never met a stranger. He was proud to be a snowbird to Arizona for the last 13 years. Charles was a Veteran of World War II, serving in the United States Marine Corps. Charles Hoffman was a rough, gruff, opinionated, old man who was loved and respected by all. Survivors: children, Janet Miller, Steve Hoffman, Pete Hoffman, Gary Van Patten (Karen); 12 grandchildren; 35 great-grandchildren; and one great-great-granddaughter; sisters, Bernice Hansen, LaVerna Flyger; brothers, Robert, Ben (Betty). Preceded in death by a brother, Teddy. Charles and Bula help raise many children and considered them to be their family. Funeral services will be held Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 11:00 a.m. in the Goff Mortuary 8090 So. State. A viewing will be held Friday from 6-8 p.m. and again on Saturday from 9:45-10:45 a.m. Interment, Draper Cemetery.

Yesterday was the funeral of a man I called "Grandpa Charles" all my life.

He always smelled of black licorice and loved me as if I was his own grandchild. He put tabasco in his coffee, spoke loud and made sure everyone knew his opinion. He loved horses, loved life, and loved his community. He loved my family as if we were his very own.

I don't think I could have asked for a better "fake" grandpa. He was an amazing person, and will be missed dearly by all of us.

Dreams

2008-02-15T07:10:00.002-07:00

I had a weird dream night. Michelle and I went to the bar and when we got there (like usual) I realized I had the wrong I.D. I ran out to my car and when I came back inside I ran into...

Eddie Quintero, with his camera. We said our awkward hellos (which of course are awkward in real life) then he put his camera up to his face to take my picture. He hesitates, tells me I'm smiling weird, and then proceeded to give me smiling lessons.

ha.

S-T-R-A-N-G-E.

It's Official!

2008-02-09T13:44:00.000-07:00

I am officially moving to Alaska. Yes I know I said that like two weeks ago. However...I bought my plane ticket AND my ferry ticket today. I leave Utah on April 29th at 1:15pm and land in Juneau at 9:39pm (which is really more like 11:39 here). Then I hop on the ferry the next morning at 7:00 am. Pretty rockin.

Two and a half months people.

Then you won't see me for at least five.

I want to play just as much as you want to!

And we're probably throwing a going away party on April 25 or 26.

I can't believe how fast it's coming!

Wahoo!

Friday's Theme Song.

2008-02-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty uneventful. I've been doing my homework/working all day, and I watched "Across the Universe." It was just as good as I remembered it being when I saw it in the theatre. As I was standing in the shower, I started singing:

"Love is real , real is love
Love is feeling , feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved

Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved

Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing we can be

Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needed to be loved."

And then the day/week/I don't know came over me and I wanted to cry.

I don't know what it was. Maybe the overwhelming hate of war combined with the man we met at the bar last night who was a war veteran and insisted on regailing us with terrifying stories. I hate realizing how cruel people can be. Can't we all just love one another?

On a happier/once again weird note, my lover visited me in my dreams again last night. I'm getting impatient for Alaska, fo' real. And it's so weird how he is a part of me and I've never met him. Just you wait until I write a post about a man named Jeff that I meet in Alaska. You'll be like, "Wow, maybe that April really isn't that crazy." I'm in love. :D

Anyway, I'm going to class in the morning, there will be no forgetting this week (like I did last week). So, to sleep I go.

Night!

Something Interesting..

2008-02-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/07/us/politics/07cnd-repubs.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin

Mitt Romney dropped out.

Do you think Utah will have "voters in record numbers!" for the election in November?

My guess is,

Uhm, no.

Update.

2008-02-06T14:52:00.000-07:00

They've counted more votes and Romney's number is up 3,000. Whoa. I am so surprised.

255,218

Cha right.

A Conumdrum.

2008-02-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

Alright, I believe people should have their own views blah, blah, blah. Obviously.

However, do I have to post derogatory comments on my blog?

The answer is no.

I don't know who "Dreksak" is, therefore, you being an asshole, means...your comment will not be posted.

Got a problem with that? Too bad.

A Shoe-in.

2008-02-06T00:31:00.000-07:00

http://www.electionresults.utah.gov/xmlData/Federal_Offices.html

This link will take you to Utah's website, where you will find the results for the primary election.

Mitt Romney got 252,861 votes. That's 89.59% of the Republican votes. And we wonder why people don't fight harder to win Utah over and pull them to the Democratic side. The moment someone that is Mormon runs for President, we show our support and vote for him! Never mind that he can't stand on one side of an issue without floating from side to side. He's Mormon! He should be President!

Ashley made a really good point when we were talking on the phone today, "Bush is Christian, and look at where that got us." Religion does not determine the choices one will make. It may influence how one might come about making decisions, but it's not going to be the determining factor. If it were, imagine all the crime and disgusting things that would be taken off our streets and out of our homes if our integrity was based solely on religion. After all, wasn't the "Clean Flicks" dude just arrested for molestation? Didn't Mark Hacking have a picture of Christ on his wall? Since when are Politicians honest and think of other people than themselves? I don't care what religion you are, being the President of the United States is a pretty big ego to fill.

When will people step up and take responsibility for their actions and realize it's not religion that makes a person, but the person them self?

I proudly state here and now, that I voted today (thanks to Ashley for reminding me). I voted for Hillary Clinton. Why? Because I want a woman to be the President of the United States of America. Even if I believe being the President is an egotistcal and controlling position, I honestly believe a woman could do a better job than any man could. Besides that, I don't want someone to abolish abortion, simply because to do so would be taking a step back for womankind. I think that Margaret Sanger, the Suffragettes, and Jane Roe, and anyone else that has fought for this right would roll over in their graves if they found out all the progress they helped make in as early as the 1880s would be gone. Hell, it would piss me off too.

*stepping off my soap box*

Needless to say, I'm disappointed in Utah. Should I be? Hell no, it was certainly expected, but still. I'm irritated.

Country Dancing Anyone?

2008-02-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

Boy do I have a funny story for YOU!

It's Friday night, Hank and his friend Kevin got into town and we're all going to the Westerner. I get there around 10:30-11:00 and upon arriving give all my boys hugs. Then wait patiently for my Belle to show up.

After she does, the fun begins, and we dance, dance, dance. It was freaking awesome, as is any other time we go hang out with the boys. This new kid Kevin however was quite the riot. We danced to Tim Mcgraws, "It's Your Love," all emotional, and dedicatory. It ended with knee bending, and a dip. Freaking awesome.

Now, it's around 12:30 and fast music is playing, and Kevin suddenly starts galloping around the dance floor, smacking his ass, and riding his imaginary pony. Then Hank and Todd join in as they gallop over and over around the floor. Michelle and I laugh and watch them be crazy. Then they come back, we dance to, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia," and Kevin takes off, this time with Michelle and I in tow. In the process of this galloping cirlce of imaginary horses, my baby toe gets stepped on (my horse was one legged for a minute). And then, I couldn't walk (I WAS SOBER!).

So, I stay shoeless for the next half hour, then limp like a gimp to my car. Go home, sleep. Wake up, and still can't WALK! I seriously thought my toe was broken. My poor little Ikapee, he was all black and blue, with what looked like a broken blood vessel.

So we tape my toes together fearing it might be broken, and I go about the day limping once again like a gimp. And the next day...I read and do homework, until I watch the Superbowl (which I lost $10 on), and just let poor little Ikapee heal.

Yesterday and today are pretty much the same. I tried to take a picture, but it simply did not work. It's basically a swollen purple, blue, yellow and red mass of toe. I'm still limping a bit, and I'm not getting my steps in! It's frustrating.

But, my story is pretty awesome. I'm glad I didn't break it though. Think of how much fun that would be. HA!

So, I'm reading the Cronicles of Narnia. Awesome huh. It's about damn time. It shouldn't take long, and I've been in reading-mode again, which is fabulous. For awhile there I was only re-reading Sarah Dessen's books. So, I leave you with a picture of the cover of...

An Ending

2008-01-30T19:45:00.001-07:00

The Gap at South Towne is officially closed.

It was a lot of flipping, frustrating work.

It feels so, so, so gooooood for it to be OVER though.

Now to start a new job at a new gap, at a new mall. Man, I'm so flipping excited (insert obvious sarcasm here).

I'm just soooo tired. That's all.

And, I've been eating all freaking day, fruit, veggies, bread...and I feel bloated. What a surprise. Did you all know that I've lost 6 pounds? Probably not.

I'm going to be a size 8 by the time I leave for Alaska.

And, you should read this book:

http://www.skinnybitch.net/

That's the website. The cookbook is pretty swell too. Full of good vegan recipes. :) The book is awesome too, although it promotes veganism (which I'm thinking of actually trying once I move to AK), it teaches you a lot about foods you need in your diet, and to get rid of the shit you don't need. They curse, they're funny, and the book gets under you skin (in the good way). It's an easy read, so go learn!

(as a side note, I saw the love of my life in my dreams last night. I'm ridiculously in love with someone whom I have only met in my dreams. He's in Alaska though, I promise.)

Night loves!

haiod;fljkasl;ikja;dlkfj

2008-01-22T16:27:00.000-07:00

I have a job in Alaska!

I have a job in Alaska!

I have a job in Alaska!

:) :) :)

Things are finally officialllllllllll!

My pictures.

2008-01-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

Meet, Kim Allen, Kim Redanz (AKA little Kim), and me.

This picture was taken before we went out one night in Skagway. Take note that Little Kim's shot glass looks like a pee cup. This night was probably the most eventful/drunk night I spent in Skagway. From dancing like a freak, kissing Dylan, eating Kim A.'s pre-eminent hangover food (mac n' cheese), to breaking the magnet she happened to steal from the Red Onion and putting half of it on the fridge, the other half in the microwave. Mind you, the next day was probably the most hung over I ever was in Skagway too.

HA! I just remembered when someone stole my bike and ditched it into the river! Too bad they took the only bike that was broken out of the ones we stashed in the bushes. Man.

Meet, Heather (her dignity's name is not Claire, or Anita, but...Veronica<---what do you think of that my dear?)

This picture was taken when she came to town this summer (she lived in Texas, now Virginia) and I saw her for the first time since we were seniors (five years). She slept over at my home. We drank champagne on my tramp, and sent funny text messages to the guys in her phone from my number. How childish, but such a funny drunken thing to do. This night was an awful night for pictures. :)

Meet Michelle AKA My Belle.

I met Michelle at HVCC in August, and I'm madly in love with her. In the most platonically straight way possible. Many a good times have been spent with Michelle.

Meet, me! Because I am Simply Delicious (as you can tell).

Meet one half of my boys. Maximus, and Toddular. Two of my favorite boys ever (if you ever read a post where I say "my boys" these would be two of them).

This picture was taken the same night I stole that drunk girl's glasses and was modeling them (because damn! I looked hot! Ha Ha HA!).

Meet Erik (my older brother), me (when I was four), and my beloved puppy dog Chance. I miss my puppy so much. He died when he was 17 years old (he was older than my younger brother), and we all miss him so so so so so so much.

Meet Austin (my little brother), what I really call him is Tina.

This photo was taken on Memorial Day (if you can't tell, it was taken by me). Austin in my favorite little brother. :)

Meet Sarah, Miss Ashley Bunk, Ashley D., and me!

Picture taken on New Year's Eve, at some restaurant (which I can't remember the name of), where I ate banana squash ravioli that was absolutely delish.

Meet Gracie girl. My crazy little niece, who I kid you not is the smartest little four year old I've ever met. She's obsessed with the Ninja Turtles, and has the craziest imagination ever.

Meet B, AKA Mom. She enjoys elbow dancing, road trips, and laughing at my awesomeness. We're awesome, especially together.

Photo taken in Vegas in May, where I was so effing sick I thought I was going to DIE. Quite appropriately B is modeling her purse, as it has her name all over it. ;)

Welcome to: Alaska, the view from the Railroad dock. You so wish you lived there.

Meet: Nicole or...Fluffy Bunny. She is "the worst designated driver EVAR!" ha. But really the most awesome DD ever. I taught this girl to crochet! I love her to death.

This picture was taken at Desert Edge, the night I stole a whole bunch of dessert mints. I was so stealth. You might enjoy the photo of our chewed up pumpkin cheesecake...no?

Meet once again, Ashley and her fiance J.J.

This photo was taken when we were in West Virginia. Courtesy of Me!

Once again...Me.

Being crazy, in the car. On the way to Desert edge, right after Nicole dyed my hair.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

That my friends, is a synopsis of the photos you see in the little box at the top of the page.

As you can see,

2008-01-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

I changed the pictures at the top.

I'm thinking it's a bit busy.

I'll contemplate changing back.

Ahhh, now to relax on Sunday.

it's been a...

2008-01-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

Loooooooooong freaking week.

Talk about busy.

Monday, worked 8-2, doctor at 2:30 there til' 4:00 (where the lady stabbed BOTH my arms. Oh well, I'm learning to enjoy being poked with needles. At least until the neausea subsides because it feels so awkward having that little piece of metal in my body. And don't worry this won't lead to me doing any heroine, blah, blah, blah.), had class from 5:30-6:30ish, where I was then able to hang out with my dear friend Taylor, who kept beating me at guitar hero. Well, by percentage anyway, I still kicked his ass at the points.

Tuesday: Worked 8-5:30ish, Class from 7-9, went and hung out at le Chin Wah where I saw the people I miss and love. Also ordered some freaking AWESOME tupperware for my mom (and me once I finally moooove out).

Wednesday: worked 7-4, left for class at 5. Class til 6:15...Now to go sit on my butt in front of the fireplace and read my book.

Then the freaking hell begins tomorrow...work 8-4, then 4:30 to 9:30-10ish. Hello Hell!

As if you might care about the freakish hellish schedule I have. :)

I love working with Lisa, she's so freaking funny. I'm sad I won't get to work with her anymore after the next couple of weeks. I'm angry the GAP is freaking closing at South Towne. stupid, Stupid, STUPID.

I feel like putting a picture on this post. Let's have some random fun.

Exhibit A: meet me. "Hi!" on my birthday morning some odd years ago. Which is in June, however take notice of the Christmas wrapping paper. Also, notice the blanket, wrapped round my shoulders. That's right, my baby blanket, which quite unashamedly still sleep with. It's a comfort thing. Get over it. I was obviously woken up from my slumber to open presents. Yay! No make-up, dirty hair. I get it, you think it's HOT! Oh wait, HOTT!

Now, enjoy Exhibit B: Here I am, smiling like a goof, wearing my new shoes (which I still own and never wear). Also take notice of the hot gym shorts and the way freaking awesome Renior book there on the table as well.

Now, I don't know if this is from the same year, my hair looks longer, so it's probably from the year before...but, where is April?

Right here!

Man, I'm such a nerd.

Now, for a less nerdy, better looking picture...

I have been looking at photos on my mom's profile (I mentioned this before), and came across this picture which I have never witnessed before.

Meet Douglas Dale Welcome. My buddy. Whom I never really talk to anymore. I just think this is a good picture. I look a little green, Douglas looks way young, but it was weird to stumble across this picture. Weird for numerous reasons, but most of all for a closed chapter of my life. Finality is a wonderful thing. It's a good picture.

Anyway, I'm going to go read this:

Night!

Music...hmm?

2008-01-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

Hi pals, readers and such. It's Saturday night, 11:09 and I'm going to bed. Well, after I write a little somethin' somethin'.

I dyed my hair today. Dark. And it's adorable. And I think I can get away with not getting a haircut for a little while longer. I'm being cheap! Besides that, I'm growing my hair out again. Long like this...

and this...

I was just looking at old pictures of me from my mom's folders and found these...

Damn I was a cute little stinker...

This is officially my new Myspace and Facebook picture.

Ha!

Off to bed.

Night!

An interesting observation

2008-01-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I got out of class at the Miller Campus, I heard strange shouting. It sounded more like gutteral noises to be quite honest, then all of a sudden it sounded like the pledge of alliegence...and for a moment I was silent because I thought it was the Army or something. Then, after surveying the parking lot and realizing how many cop cars there were, I realized it was some police academy doing their thing.

Strange. At least I don't need to worry about anyone breaking into my car and stealing John Krasinski or my cd player. Sweeeeeeeet.

As much as I hate cops, I'm sure glad we have them.

I started school this week. Which reminds me, I need to freaking get online and check out my English class or else I'm screwed and I'll have to take another freaking semester. We wouldn't want anything to mess up my plans for Alaska now would we?

Speaking of Alaska...

I have a bag of things I've started collecting that need to come with me! And I've been purchasing things like a lunatic. Which...it's gotta stop! However, today at Gap at Gateway I about freaked out because guess what...!

They had the jacket I've been lusting after in PINK. I thought I was going to have to buy it online! But this find...made my week.

ohhhh, it's it freaking ADORABLE?

I bought me an umbrella and some slippers too...! Oh, and this awesome blanket with arms. Sounds weird, I know, but it's freaking awesome.

Anyway, I love it how my entries randomly end, with no subtle hint toward leaving. :)

I'm off to bed, hopefully my love meets me again tonight in dreamland...

"Your pillows soft,

your bed is warm,

your eyes are tired,

when day is done,

one more kiss,

and you'll be gone,

on your way to dreamland."

mmm.

night!

all you need is love, love....love is all you need.

2008-01-10T07:33:00.000-07:00

I met the love of my life in my dreams last night.

I hope he visits me again.

It was a dream of swimming pools, Oregon, Ireland, Honesty, and ironically enough, no kissing or sexual anythings. I was lovely.

I remember everything quite nicely, it was almost like a real memory.

Don't you just love dreams like this?

Oh yeah, Ashley D. you were there and so unsatisfied with the man my dreams set you up with. So, it's a good thing you're with J.J. :)

New Years/Christmasish

2008-01-06T03:07:00.000-07:00

First things first. Do you see what time it is? Three Oh SEVEN. That's right. In the AM. Thanks to my lovely Americano. :)

I must admit that I haven't even tried to lay in bed, and I'm still in my regular clothes. Meh, Oh well, I accomplished something I've been wanting to do for awhile tonight, so I'm not too worried.

As many of you may or may not know, Sarah Dessen is one of my favorite authors. Absolutely love her writing. About two years ago I found out she was on Myspace AND Livejournal, and I refused to add her as a friend. Ha ha. Well, I finally added her a couple weeks ago (on Myspace), and tonight I wrote her a thank you note. Well, single spaced in word it was around a page and a half, so it probably constitutes as a letter. Once again, HA. That is something I've always wanted to do, but until reading "Just Listen" again did I really find the need. :)

Ahhh just stretched, me thinks it's getting close to bedtime!

Anyway, normally I write a post that says Merry Christmas, blah, blah, blah. Happy New Year, blah, blah, blah. But this year, I didn't (by this year I mean last year). Of course, these past holidays things just were different.

This, however was the same...

This is my family, who is missing, I do not know yet. Ha. At least 5-10 people.

Meet The Brad Dansie's. Left to right: JJ, Ash, Austin, Erik, Cher, Me.
Front:Mama, Papa, Kadence, and Grace.

The Manger Production, the little kids were crawling around mooing. It was freaking awesome.

And here we have me and Gracie. This is where she walked into the corner picked up the stick that went with the pinata and said, "HEY! APRIL! This is like the thing a Ninja Turtle would use!" me: "Which one Gracie Girl?" her: "DONATELLO!"

You gotta love her. :)

For New Year's and Christmas day, I will post pictures later.

And I will also share with you my analogy of "New Years Resolutions."

OH! And! I'm going to the Warhol Exhibit tomorrow. Praise the lord that I wait til the last minute...Maybe it'll be freeeeeeeeeee! (yeah right)

Night!

Sufjan Stevens is...

2007-12-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

my secret lover...

Or so I wish...

And he wanted to be a professor, he graduated in writing...

Oh yeah, and he's amazing.

And cute.

Maybe he'll live in Utah when he writes the album based on this state.

Then we can fall madly in love.

Dear Universe,
Please send this amazing musician into my live.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
Love,
April

Terrible News

2007-12-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how things come to us, and even though you're braced for tragedy, news still surprises you.

I found out today that Josie's father is in the hospital. Why? They found out yesterday he has testicular cancer. They're not sure if it has spread yet, but things aren't looking too good.

I hate it that life is unfair and that Josie has been through so much shit in her life already.

It makes me sad.

Frustrated April Needs...

2007-12-15T23:09:00.001-07:00

THISSSSS BOOK.

I cannot find it for the LIFE of me.

a little note.

2007-12-14T15:03:00.000-07:00

If you look at that drawing, the Key is as follows:

PWIAD= Place Where I Almost Died (yes I will tell this story on here if you want to know it)

and,

TEMSCO= The place where I work, (Timber, Exploration, Mining, Survey, Cargo, Opperations)

That is all.

Dun, Dun, Dun...

2007-12-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL IS OVER!

Oh praise the lord, praise the lord!

Now I just get to work a lot. :)

That just means more money for Alaska.

April Dansie is so excited. Yes, yes she is.

Automated voices suck

2007-12-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

That's right.

Here, you're having troubles with our online service? Call this number. You can listen to some automated lady tell you your options, make sure you pronounce, "yes," "no," etc. clearly or it will take you an additional nineteen minutes to actually get ahold of someone with a voice.

Seriously.

The Study of Safe Sex

2007-12-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

As you may already know, I wrote a paper for my English class at the beginning of the semester about abortion (it's posted in September I think). As you may not know, I hated my English class. I thought my teacher was foolish, and I just didn't like the way he taught (which is why I'm taking English 2010 online).

When I got my paper back with B on it, I was upset. I mean, pissed. I hate peer reviews, simply because I think my peers are idiots and can't help me. Which proved to be true. I did not recieve any good input about how to make my paper better, and I got a B. I mean come on. So I finally confronted him about it, and he raised my grade to a B+, which honestly is still not the grade I feel I deserved.

I hate it that we live in a culture that is so naieve, judgemental, and closed minded. It's frustrating to think that my teacher who is supposed to be objective could be grading my paper on personal preferences. I don't care your position on abortion, my paper was good damn it.

Anyway, for our final paper in that class we had to write a paper about what? _______<----Insert own topic here. How long did it take me to pick a topic?! FOREVER. However, I wrote about the importance of teaching adolescents about safe sex. Let's pray he stands on the same side of the fence as I do. Blah.

Anyway, I learned some interesting things about various people. I'll bet you didn't know this (ha, probably because I did my own research), but the average age of the 40 people I asked lost their virginity at ages 15-16. Did they use protection? Only 25% of the people that lost it before they were 18 did. 90% of them that lost it after 18 did. Interesting eh? Five of them have had abortions, two had miscarriages.

It's interesting how we talk about loosing our virginity as "loosing" something. The thing that is lost is not physical, nor emotional. It's an illusion. We loose our sense of naiveté. There is so much build up to a monumental moment, that in all honesty, sucks. My sense of this may be jaded, emotion may play a big part in this moment, however, loosing your virginity is not pleasant. That's all I'm saying.

Yesterday, after working the Children's Christmas Party (AKA kid hell) at my work, a few of us went to The Wallow (Aaron, Jack, Michelle, and I). That's right, I've risen above my hate for Aaron, and we are now friends. It's amazing what the power of forgiveness can do. Anyway...we were all chatting, and once again, I was told of my need for a boyfriend. I find it humorous how everyone keeps telling me that I NEED to be in a relationship, when the idea of one doesn't sound enticing at all. Boyfriend. April. Ha.

Guess what! I've made an official decision. That's right...

(drawing courtesy of me and graffiti on fb)

I'm going back to ALASKA! For sure! I already started my fundage for the trip. $50 down, only $850 to go (well at least for saving). I should really be looking into airfares and all that jazz, but I haven't yet. Just thought you all might like to know. :)

How could you not be excited to be in this place.

Doing this...

With these people...(I can't find most of my Alaska photos right now)

And no longer missing KIM?!

You know you wish you were me.

I miss Kim! I'm excited to see her. Only four and a half months!

(Although I'll miss you people here, but you know I LOVE you all!)

This is a scatter-brain post. ciao!

Divide and Conquer

2007-12-04T14:59:00.000-07:00

This is what I'll be doing.

Because I suck at staying focused.

Obviously looking at shoes on Piperlime is not doing my homework. Yech. Blah, blah, blah.

Someone buy me these please?

The Yellow ones are really my favorite, but I thought the other three needed some kind of recognition as well. Better yet, buy me all three. But the yellow ones first. :)

Ohhh, they're so cute. I want the purple ones for real.

Uh, oh. Shoe fettish coming back. I can feeeeeel it.

Alright, ENOUGH!

Communications: figure out problems!
E-mail interview
~~English: Write paper!~~
Geography: Write about Global Warming (dude, I know absoultely nothing about it).
Take map quiz
STOP SLACKING!
Math: Study, Study, STUDY.

Welcome to the week before finals. AKA HELL.

Oh, but the shoes are cute right? :)

http://www.piperlime.com/ If I love you I can get you 10% off your purchase...or go play the boot game and save $15 off your $75 purchase. You know you want to!

Private Practice.

2007-11-23T15:43:00.000-07:00

I just want you all to know that I really like Private Practice.

At first I was a little wary, but now, I'm beginning to like it better than I do Grey's.

Just a note. :)

When you love somebody

2007-11-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

"Baby, remember on the bus and my hand was on your knee?
When you love somebody it's hard to think about anything but to breathe.
Baby I am the cub who was washed out in the flood...

When you love somebody and bite your tounge all you get is a mouthful of blood. "

If you're my friend on myspace...go listen.

And I don't bite my tongue.

survey anyone?

2007-11-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

In lieu of me not wanting to write the rest of my rough draft until tomorrow... I'm doing this survey because it looks like fun.

Hi my name is: April Dansie
When I'm nervous: lick my lips
By this time next year: I will have a real job
Last night: was rad. I love my ma and the Tav...don' forget Ammon!

PART 1: YOU
Were you a planned baby? yep
Were you the first? nope. third

PART 2: YOUR PERSONALITY
Do you have low self esteem? nope.
Do you get depressed about things easily? Only when my horomones are all out of wack
Are you happy right now? Gloriously so.

PART 3: APPEARANCE
Are you comfortable with the way you look? As of late...no. Which is why I'm going running after I finish this survey.
Describe your hair: short, awkward, and brown

PART 4: RANDOM
Do you have a license? A license to kill? no.
Ever been kicked out of a bar? Negative

PART 5: THE OUTDOORS
Do you prefer indoors or outdoors? Outdoors. Definitely.
Do you like walking in the rain? YES! Especially if it's unexpected and I get sopping wet and it smells good.
Do you like thunderstorms? Unless they wake me up, I love them.

PART 6: FOOD
Are you a vegetarian? Nope.
Anything you absolutely could eat forever? Green beans, Beets, or asparagus.
What is your favorite dessert? BCP! Lemon Meringue pie, or Tiramisu

PART 7: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE
Do you want to get married? Yes
Have you ever been in love? Yes. :) but right now it's a completly different feeling.

PART 8: RANDOM QUESTIONS
1. Where is your cell phone? On the desk.
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? The one I want? He's probably home. sigh.
3. Your hair? still brown, awkward, and short
5. Cheesecake? oh gross.
7. Your dream last night? Fo' Real? It's a secret.
8. Your favorite drink?: water
9. Car you want?: Convertible off-white bug.
10. The room you're in: The one with the computer, toys, and treadmill
12. Your fears? mirrors at night time, elevator cracks, sewer grates, and friggin' dark water.
13. Nipple rings? Nope.
14. Who are you hanging out with tonight?: me!
17. One of your wish list items? this bed
18. Where did you grow up? Draper, Utah
20. What are you wearing?: my heart hoodie, jeans, white converse
21. Tattoos?: none...
22. Ketchup?: is made from tomatoes.
23. You computer?: black.
24. Your life?: is in my control. Once again.
25. Your mood? relieved.
26. Missing? absolutely nothing. except my michelle.
27. What are you thinking about right now? Shooting guns, birth control, and sex ed.
28. Your car/truck is?: not is but HAS a NEW cd player!
29. Your work?: HVCC is dramatic, and a lot of bullshit occurs there...and Gap is lovely.
30. Your summer? Long and lovely. Full of fun times.
32. Your favorite color(s)?: purple and green
33. When is the last time you laughed?: about two seconds ago
34. Last time you cried? About two weeks ago.
35. High school?: was lame.
36. Last text?: Fluffy Bunny.
37. Last received call?: Bart

Wow. it's over? Hm. Did you notice a lot of questions are missing? I did. I was going to make up questions but decided against it.

Enjoy. :D

And someone buy me the bed from IKEA pleeeeeeeeeeease?

tonight...

2007-11-14T15:34:00.001-07:00

I'm hanging out with my sister.

I've missed her.

2007-11-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

As much as being awake all night sucked...

I sure do miss my pup.

He's been at the vet all day.

I need some Max lovin, STAT.

And not any of that whiny, pissing me off Max that won't snuggle.

My snuggle bug needs go get better.

I feel bad for saying I wanted to kill him. It was said in jest, and sarcasm, but I still feel bad.

Yep. I'm tired.

I'm rambling on about nothing, and I can barely keep my eyes open.

Time for laundry, lunch, and a short. nap.

2007-11-13T05:25:00.001-07:00

So I'm not an idiot.

but I sure feel like one.

2007-11-13T05:18:00.000-07:00

It's freaking 5:20am.

FIVE TWENTY.

I slept today from 1:50-2:50 when Max woke up and started throwing up. He's been whining all freaking night and I seriously want to kill him.

Not only that, but since I couldn't sleep I got up to do my math homework, but for some fucking reason I can't get the right answers.

Hearing max whine all night, and me sitting on the couch not getting my freaking homework done, because I'm an idiot who doesn't understand how to solve freaking equations with radicals(which I DID understand in class) is making me cry.

Crying at 5:20 because the DOG IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. And because I can't get this math done. Probably because I've slept for an hour in the last 23 hours. Now I'm going to go to class tomorrow, my teacher is going to call on me to give the answer to a freaking problem that I didn't get because I'm an IDIOT.

MAX IS SO FRUSTRATING! I just want to sleep. Too bad I have to work in a freaking hour and a half.

I can already feel that today is going to suck.

I feel...

2007-11-13T00:22:00.001-07:00

Gross.

Like I've been sick for ages and can't get over this bloody uneasy stomach ache.

Yech.

Damn the Monte Cristo sandwich. It was so good while I was eating it, but now I friggin' hate it.

Time to go for a run. Who cares that it's 12:22 in the morning? Maybe I'll feel better.

Oh yeah, I hung out with Jennifer tonight, we had a good heart to heart. It was nice to chat. I love her.

And I love Nicole for cutting my bangs, because they look bomb diggity and I don't feel foolish with them anymore. Now I can curl my hair and not pull my crazy bangs back into a boufounte (yes I did just make up a spelling for that word so I don't have to look it up).

I love my ma, because she's reading the "Twilight" series, and going "pshaw!" It makes me happy, because even though I read the whole series and I will read the next book, I'm still going..."Pshaw!"

I love Ashley because she's having a tough time with a particular someone and she's venting to me. I've missed my sister.

I'm thankful for a lot of things today, running water, money, food (except for that stinkin' monte cristo sandwich and the sucker I threw out my window), computers, my lovely writing skills (even though my English teacher sucks and I'm still trying to get back on the saddle)...that I work at the Gap and they're recognizing I have the ability to be a great delegating, objective manager, that I am up front and not afraid to say what I want and think. I am a great person. I look out for other people's feelings, and I look out for myself. The universe loves me and looks after me as well. Isn't it lovely? I'll say it is.

I've started writing a to do list. I still haven't done some (most) of the things on the list, but it's still nice to see my handwriting on that paper and all my thoughts somewhere so I can actually feel like I'm accomplishing things and stop feeling like a failure. I am a success! I can do anything I want, and acheive. Now I need to finish my geography homework. Bleh. I really am not a big fan of that class. I do not recommend taking three hour classes. No, no I do not.

You know what else I'm thankful for? My Mother. She's awesome. She's the most loving and accepting person I have ever met, and I love her for being able to help me through the shit that I go through. Without her, I'm pretty sure I would be lost. I love her so much.

ALSO! Guess who's going on a date on Friday night. That's right. Me. With whom? Justin Richards. And who is Justin Richards? Oh, just this guy that I've liked for years. Yep. Years. Pretty freaking awesome huh. :) I'll have to tell you about it. Maybe.

Anyway, time for a run, some laundry, some writing, math homework, and clean bathrooms.

Enjoy my unedited post.

Love you all!

-April

Dreams.

2007-11-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

I had a crazy dream last night where Ian got mad at me for missing him.

Go figure.

This is why you want to be my friend.

2007-11-07T22:20:00.000-07:00

And this is also why Ashley and I are the coolest.

ha ha. I couldn't help but laugh when I stumbled upon these just barely.

You should click on them to get the full effect of their awesomeness.

It's been a loooooooong time.

2007-11-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

So Vegas, you need an update and pictures.

I say, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps tomorrow.

To say the least, it was kind of a let down, although I had fun with my ma, and the time that was good with Adam.

I've been thinking about updating this thing for awhile now, but haven't been quite sure how to go about the topics that I want to write about, as there have been a lot of things on my mind, so here goes.

I don't know how I am where I am right now. Now, now, don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I've been happy ever since August was over. I'm just going through a stint of "missing someone important" right now, and I just want to get it out.

Somehow I need to get this out of my system without breaking down and texting, calling, myspaceing, or e-mailing this particular individual. How is it that someone so important to me is completely out of my life (minus the songs that remind me of him, the thoughts, and lately the dreams)? I can go for a few months without him, but then I feel like this big chunk of me is gone and that I'm missing out on him. That he's missing out on me. And I sit here wishing he would miss me too, but I don't know if he does. I miss his friendship and his hugs, and how all my crazy bullshit flew out the window when I was with him. What happened to our love? How did everything get so skewed that we're at a place in our lives where we've lost complete sight of each other and our goals? I miss my best friend. I miss him so much that it hurts. It's too bad that I was the one that told him goodbye, and that I'm not willing to get in touch with him unless I truly mean something to him (which essentially means him getting a hold of me). I miss the good times we had, and I wish I was still having good times with him.

"At my door the leaves are falling
A cold wild wind has come
Sweethearts walk by together
And I still miss someone

I go out on a party
And look for a little fun
But I find a darkened corner
Because I still miss someone

Oh, no I never got over those blues eyes
I see them every where
I miss those arms that held me
When all the love was there

I wonder if she's sorry
For leavin' what we'd begun
There's someone for me somewhere
And I still miss someone"
--Johnny Cash

Who knew that saying goodbye could hurt so much?

April Dansie is...

2007-10-18T23:37:00.000-06:00

Over it.

And excited for Vegas.

And to see Adam. :)

That's all.

Good night...

April Dansie is...

2007-10-18T16:49:00.001-06:00

Friggin' FRUSTRATED.

gutsy move?

2007-10-17T23:26:00.000-06:00

So, I suddenly have this idea to send the craziest message ever to James.

Why, oh why did I ever look for him on facebook?
Why did he have to have an account?
And why do I want to tell him that I hate him for how he fucked up so many things when it comes to my life? (then again, I have to admit that I let him have control over me, and that is not something I'm ready to deal with.)

He makes me angry. The kind of anger I don't know how to get over or move on from.

I pretend I'm over it, that time has changed me, but really, who am I kidding?

On Monday Morning (insert No Doubt music here)

2007-10-16T09:42:00.000-06:00

Okay so, it's Tuesday, but who really cares. :)

Welcome to my morning off.
This is what it will consist of:

Coffee(Venti Non-fat Vanilla Latte), Music (Counting Crows for now), Math(that's right, Intermediate Algebra), Reading "Twilight," (which to be honest I fear I'm not going to like because everyone who reads the same books as me hasn't liked it), and the lovely book, "The Secret Language of Relationships."

So, I may have mentioned that I'm going to Moab this weekend, which I'm not anymore. Now, it's just Vegas baby. Vegas. Why? Because I am going to see a band play (not really the main reason). Who? Whitewater Ramble. Where did I hear/meet them? The Hog Wallow. When? Thursday October 5th. The real reason I'm going to Vegas? To see Adam. Who is Adam? Not only the most adorable fiddle player ever, but one of the nicest guys I've met in forever. And by forever I mean, sa-woon (if you don't get this, read, "The Truth About Forever," by Sarah Dessen AKA one of my most favorite books). I'm not going to elaborate on how extraordinary he is here (because he's going to read this, and really, how big of a fool do I need to make of myself?). Just know this, he is pretty freaking amazing. ;)

La Las Vegas is going to rock. No tonsils this time, so no chance of being sick the whole trip. I can drink and have a fabulous time. I'm so excited the the ma is coming! How could you not love this face?

The ma sure knows how to what? Party like a rockstar (we will omit all the crazy pictures of me dancing drunk from this night, even though we all know they're awesome).

And again, isn't she adorable? (this picture rocks my socks off)

I love my ma! Vegas this weekend. Oh ma, it's going to be even cooler than the picture above. Then again what's cooler than grabbing your own boobs?

My, my, my, I'm question/parentheses happy this morning.

Well, the latte is gone, I read a chapter in "Twilight," looked up some stuff in the relationship book, and now, I'm off to do my math homework. Lord knows that I don't want to be called on in that class without the answers. My teacher scares me. For real.